Beware what's hidden in the Basement
by SfoCrazy
Summary: This is another twisted story around Harry Potter. With a change in his life and fortunes he becomes a confident and dangerous Potter, a girl magnet but the Fates disagree. Lots of character bashing, character death and definitely not book compliant. Rated M for language at least. No Slash.
1. Chapter 1

This is defiantly Mature so be pre-warned. With 670,000 HP stories out there I have probably stepped on someone's toes, for that I apologize. I am having fun and it's addicting, so on with my attempt at writing or scribbling in my case. You get it as I write it and it's as fast as I can put the words down on the screen. If you look past my grammar etc, you may find a story, then maybe not. In any case it's a great stress reliever from school pressures.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. The original characters and plot are the property of the author i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. This work is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Not for sale or profit but at least I can give it away.

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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Beware what's hidden in the Basement^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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Chapter 1 – Who's that knocking on my door?

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There is told throughout history stories of gods and goddesses. The names have changed over the eons of human existence but the basic core persists in its telling. Many distortions were already in existence when man tried to describe and explain these entities on paper. Three such entities were Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos. They were three ancient old crones that were the Fates. Clotho spins the Thread of Life and the Thread is said to be unchangeable. Lachesis allots the length of the yarn and Atropos who does the snip in the end. A lot is wrong with these tales.

If you were that powerful and ruled the deities would you be an old crone? If you were that powerful would you be locked away or would you do as the old tales said, roam the earth and mix with the mortals? In their working chamber sat three intelligent and beautiful entities making a snip here or a birth there to insure the timeline was steady. The Fates as they are called usually only paid attention to the Thread of Life and not to individuals within that thread. Upon birth people were entered into the Thread by Clotho, given the length of existence by Lachesis and sniped in the end by Lachesis. The last moron that tried to oppose their will found out just how much the time line could be changed to his eternal regret.

"Clotho! Yelled the messenger who entered the room running. "We have a plea request from the Gods."

Work stopped as the three looked up, this type of request had not been done in centuries.

"Lachesis took the request and shook her head as she read the communiqué. "It is requested by James and Lily Potter that attention be drawn to one Harry Potter. It is indorsed by three of our subordinates. Damn it's even indorsed by Beelzebub himself.

"Now that is an all time first, if I remember correctly, people living in the light realm making a request that is indorsed by the dark realm."

"Come girls they have my interest, let's see where this Harry Potter fits into the thread and how he is going to affect it." Clotho laughed not expecting anything abnormal.

"Well I'll be an old crone, how in Hates did something like this ever get put together?" Clotho growled.

"See the touch here where someone has nudged the thread?" Lachesis pointed.

"And here there is a significant change to this Potter's life line." Atropos exclaimed.

"I don't give a bean what happens to Harry Potter I want the ass that messed with this Thread. I want his life force sent to Hates and eternal damnation; he has started a series of Dark Lords." Clotho screamed.

"Clotho calm down, let's follow the waves and eddies and see where this all leads and then we can change it back to where it belongs." Atropos proposed.

"You're right let's get to work."

They did and they did not like the results so they plotted a new course for a new out come. One could say that they moved heaven and earth but in the end a significant birth would be tossed into the life of Harry Potter causing the time line to corkscrew before it returned to where the three wanted his existence to pulse.

"Messenger, have Beelzebub send us up a Draca the kind that shoots lightning from its eyes and retractable wings." Clotho shouted.

"Clotho you can't send that much dark without a balance of light or you will make another Dark Lord." Lachesis added.

"Fine dispatch another messenger to add an upgraded owl and have the Goblin liaison report sometime today even if he's dancing in YesterCastle." Clotho was defiantly upset over her Thread of Life being tampered with and the three knew why Beelzebub had indorsed the request.

Later in the day:

"Good you're here. I need you to get the Head Goblin in LondonEngland convinced that this Harry Potter is their savior. Use what ever means necessary. Those sneaky little Goblins of yours need to do everything they can even if it includes adopting this Harry Potter as their own child, is this clear?"

"Yes Ma'am, the Fates have spoken and it shall be done." He backed out in a hurry.

/Scene Break/

Five year old Harry Potter had just burnt the bacon and afterwards being smacked around by Vernon Dursley he was then thrown into the cupboard under the stairs at #4 Privet Drive. The bacon would not have burnt if he was not tripped by Dudley which caused the fruit juice he was delivering to Vernon to crash to the floor as had Harry.

"You will stay there until we let you out and since you wasted our good food and don't go asking for any food for awhile." That echoed in my ears as it probably ment today and probably tomorrow without food.

/Scene Break/

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Headmaster was humming to himself while sucking on his lemon drop, life was good. The Wizengamot was done for the next few months, the ICW was in recess and the school was being run by McGonagall. So with his feet propped up on his desk and lemon drops on his tongue he was a happy Headmaster. The Weasley twins were funny in their pranks that drove McGonagall up the wall, something worth seeing. All the silver instruments on the mantel were spinning or puffing showing that Harry Potter was alive and well at the Dursleys. Knowing that for the next six years Harry Potter would be ill treated and be down trodden for his savior one Albus Dumbledore. Tom Riddle was maintained the same way but had slipped out of his grip but Harry Potter would be different. Albus was one plan after the next, even plans within plans. He would obtain the Philosophers Stone to extend his life and eliminate the victor of the final battle between Harry Potter and Tom Riddle. Life was great.

/Scene Break/

Gringotts Bank London England, in the Directors office one Manager Ragnok was contemplating his life and how it could end at any minute. He had just left a meeting with the Goblin King who unequivocally told Ragnok that he was to take Harry Potter under his wing and treat him as if Potter was his child. Ragnok was to use every Goblin resource to train the kid in Goblin magic, Wizard Magic, martial arts and everything else available. The King has said that rules and laws were to be enforced with this Goblin assistance which meant Potter would be allowed everything possible and the hell with the rules. Life for Ragnok could be very short if the kid was a dud.

/Scene Break/

Drac a magical dragon had arrived in the basement of #4 Privet drive and was walking around and taking inventory. Drac was happy that he was chosen by Beelzebub but he knew it was for his special talents that not all Draca possessed, Drac was a small dragon yet looked like a large snake. He walked on his two hind legs but had hidden wings for magical flying. He was the only choice when it was noted that he could talk the snake language and could shoot lightning from his eyes. His instructions were clear, bond with the child Harry Potter, never leave him alone and give him the portkey. Life was not complicated.

/Scene Break/

It must be after ten at night as the snores are echoing down the stairs. I am hungry but without food and water I don't have to go very often. After all the coffee-can under my matrice can only hold so much. If only I had someone to take me away from here, even my drunken parents would be better than this life.

"Psst"

"Psst, can you hear me?"

"Yes who are you and how did you get in the house?" I asked

"I do not understand your language please speak snake language please."

"What?"

"Never mind, I will unlock this door but you must not be afraid when you see me I am here to help you."

The click of the locks caused me to try the boot cupboard door, it swung open and I almost screamed.

"I am Drac and I have been sent to help you."

Now this was something, a talking snake standing on two little legs and he wanted to talk with me like a real person. We must have been talking for a couple of hours when Drac asked for me to take what he called a portkey and to hold out my arm. He did say he was magical as he disappeared into my arm. Where he entered there was a little Drac tattoo. He had said to say in English the word 'Goblin' so I did and felt a tug at my stomach.

"Who are you intruder?" Said a small ugly little thing but then again I must be in his house so I told him. "I'm Harry Potter Sir" Even if I never saw these creachers before I recognized panic. Another of the creachers rushed in and introduced himself as Ragnok. He was nice and we had a nice chat in his office over food and fruit juice.

For every question I had he had four. Most of his questions I was unable to answer. I was lucky to know my name I didn't get an education living in a cupboard. Ragnok was not happy with most of my answers but explained the portkey and told me to come back in the morning as I was afraid of the trouble I would be in if I was not there if the Dursley's woke early. It didn't make much difference they were up and found the cupboard door open and me gone. When I popped into the hallway they charged out of the kitchen.

"Where were you BOY!" Vernon roared. I didn't need to answer as he had his belt out already so anything I said would only make it worse.

Draco sprang from my arm and lighting bolts sprang from his eyes. Vernon flew backward and collapsed against the wall his clothes smoking.

"Harry use the portkey" hissed Draco as he jumped back into my arm. I did and Ragnok scared me he was so mad. He called together a few people and we all port-keyed back to Privet Drive. Vernon was still out cold and one look at the Goblins sent Petunia and Dudley running. That is when the basement became my new home.

"Now young Harry we have warded the door, walls and window. We will explain in a bit but no one but you can get in here without a portkey that only we make" I was not paying much attention as I could hardly keep my eyes open. The last thing I realized was that they had moved in a bed and it was comfortable, oh so comfortable.

When I awoke the next morning I could not recognize the basement it was the nicest room I had ever seen. Big bed, nice desk with plush chairs and they had pictures hanging on the wood paneled walls. There was a door that I had never seen in the basement and when I opened it there was a huge bathroom all for me the Freak. Even the floor was carpeted with a thick plush pile. The note on the desk said to use the portkey to Gringotts which I did.

"Morning Harry are you ready for a full day learning who you are and some special training?" Ragnok asked and who was I to say no?"

"First we are heading to the Hospital wing and have you checked over and see if that Uncle of yours did any permanent damage."

"Yes Sir" was all I could come up with. How could I refuse someone who had already improved my life?

Later in the Hospital wing in Gringotts Bank the medic was having me drink potion after potion. That's what he called the bad tasting things. When he got to my scar on my forehead he called in a lot of Goblins to talk, I didn't understand the words they were using. They did a further checking on the rest of me and more people came in and they didn't sound happy.

/Scene Break/

Vernon Dursley was one unhappy person. After he came back to his sense and had a couple of belts of Scotch he decided to tackle the basement. Armed with a cricket bat he grabbed the doorknob and got the second largest shock in his life. Never deterred he charged the door only to be thrown across the hall and into the living room. Since this was not working he sat at the kitchen table and had a few more shots of Scotch. He was going to get into that basement and strangle that freak. Maybe Frank would loan his shotgun for the weekend. If he only knew what was working on the other side of that door he would have probably moved to a new house.

/Scene Break/

"Yes Axehandle what can I do for you? Director Ragnok asked.

"Sir I just came from the Potter boy's house and there is more bad news."

"Well spit it out Axehandle what's the problem?

"Sir, there are more wards on that house that are not protection wards. There are several alarm wards that tell if he is gone for a time, wards that monitor his heath and most wards are being charged by the boys own magic."

"Can you get around his charging the ward as that is not healthy for one so young?"

"Those yes but the others are just going to go off if we bring them down."

"Fine do what you can, I will be sending over a crew. Whoever put up all those wards is going to lose this game. Send in Bladethruster on your way out."

"Yes Bladethruster take an excavation crew over to Potters basement and put in a dueling chamber and make it as large as you can. Also have it warded so magic cannot be detected by the Ministry of Magic."

"Yes Director Ragnok."

/Scene Break/

Albus Dumbledore missed the fluttering and missed beat of his monitoring devices as he was currently enjoying his breakfast in the Great Hall. The first year Weasley twins had turned the Slytherin's hair to a nice shade of pink. It was always an enjoyable sight to see his old house being given a wake up call and the whip cream and custard was especially delicious this morning.

/Scene Break/

"Yes Mister Potter you have a leach in your scar and several bindings on your magical core."

"What does that mean; I have no idea what you are talking about." I replied, what did they think I was besides a dumb kid? Hell I couldn't even read and they are throwing all this around like I know what they are talking about.

"These are very bad things for anyone to have and if you will give us permission we will remove them from you."

"Bad stuff is better gone so please you have my permission."

That was the correct answer but when I woke up I was not so sure. I had a splitting headache and my entire body seemed to pulse with each heart beat.

"Ah Mr. Potter your awake, lets have you drink this headache potion and I will make a few tests. GREAT LORS!" and the medic ran out the door.

"Director Ragnok we have a problem at least I think it's a problem, hell it's just…"

Ragnok sighed and had a feeling his life was ending sooner than he had expected. "What is the problem exactly?"

"That kid had his magical core bound and when we removed the bindings he should have had a ten percent increase in the core. It expanded alright but it's just around double the size of a powerful adult."

Ragnok grinned as his prospects of living additional days just increased.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Training is the spice of life

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That second day at Gringotts was a real something else. Ragnok brought me into his office and explained that I was going to be training. This was nice to hear because I was worried that the Goblins were going to leave me in the basement and I would have to face Vernon sooner or later. When I got home that night I found another door. I opened the door and took the stairs down to a huge room. I had found my place of training.

"Here is your schedule Harry we are making it as broad as possible as we have found a couple of prophesy over you so its best you train hard. I will tell you the prophesies as you get older. Do you have any questions?"

"No Sir except what does this say? I have not been taught to read yet." That went over well with Ragnok.

"Harry we are not mad at you and i did not mean to scare you. You keep on asking us about anything you don't understand." He was always nice even when I knew he was mad at someone for something. What I didn't realize at the time was I was comparing him to Uncle Vernon.

My schedule made for a long day but not all of it was hard. They bought me a house elf named Tiki who got me food and cleaned. She was nice company in my spare time which wasn't much. The Goblins taught me Goblin magic but everything else was taught by different human adults that portkeyed into my basement well except for the ghost tutor Jacob who taught me to read and write. A lot of what they had me learn was fun like the swimming lessons. Since the Goblins couldn't use wands they taught me how they did things like 'slipping'. When I 'slipped' I moved from one place to another and that was fun. One instructor had us running around a track and taught me kung fu. Actually it had a long funny name but it was like the TV movie I got to watch once. My life was turning into a lot of fun still a lot was hard work.

Now and then odd things happened in my life. Finding Drac, the Goblins or that I was magical were some of these odd things. Oh! There was a big hula ba lue when a white owl was found in the basement waiting for me to come home. Nothing was supposed to be able to enter the basement Hedwig the owl could and it drove the Goblins crazy. They finally gave up and just said she was magical.

A couple of weeks after his last attempt a drunken Vernon attempted to take an axe to the door of the basement only to be thrown backwards with a splinter axe handle in his hand. John the etiquette instructor heard the noise and soon Ragnok was there. "Harry what's going on?"

"I think Vernon tried to break down the door. It was kind of funny as the instructor must have jumped three feet when he heard the noise." I giggled.

"Well we will have to do something about that won't we?" Ragnok had an evil grin on his face.

I asked Ragnok if his wards could make something I saw on TV and for a moment I thought Ragnok was going to really start laughing. Well it did scare even Vernon when they saw it on the TV.

A couple of weeks later the instructor took me to Knockturn alley to have a wand made for me. The poor man really had to work and kept mumbling, "Any normal person only needs one type of wood, oh! No the kid needs three. Now he needs my rarest cores and how the hell is he going to power that focus stone. Mumble mumble."

The first time I used the wand in the training room under my basement the entire house shook and the target was obliterated. I got so tired that I fell asleep minutes later. The instructor had to rearrange his teaching to help me moderated the amount of magic I put into a spell.

A couple of weeks passed and Vernon made his next attempt at the door. The borrowed shotgun rattled the windows but only affected the door by activating our special ward. Ragnok's instructor had been working with me on my writing skills in the basement. So we knew when the gun went off. My illusion I suggested to Ragnok jumped out as if leaping from the basement and at the Dursleys. I had seen one of the horror movies that were on TV so it was a strange ugly thing. First it was about eight feet tall, with only front legs which had three toes and dragged the rest of its muscular slug like body. The toes ended in horn like nails. The monster was green and had only one eye. Over the eye was three horns and from the mouth came two fangs that were a foot long. As the creäture leaped out a crazy sounding maniacal laugh erupted to accompany the monster's arrival. I unfortunately did not see the Dursley's reaction but the door was never bothered again by them.

/Scene Break/ One year later:

"Harry the tutors say you are doing a great job in all the different field of study. I have a suggestion for you and it's totally your decision. What I would like to do is age you up a bit. You will look the same the only difference is if you are checked your age will show you older which in fact you will be regardless of your birth date."

"Why?"

"Access to your vaults is the main reason and more time to train is another. Since you are the last of your line the law says emancipation at fourteen is possible if you wish. Being emancipated will be better for you in legal areas."

"Well you have never led me wrong so what do we do?"

/Scene Break/

SCREAM! "Where is Atropos when I need her!

"Clotho what is wrong?"

"Grrrr, the Goblins have messed with the Thread of Life and we are going to have to add a few years to Harry Potters allotted length of yarn."

"No problem I'll just lay out a couple of centuries and you can tell Atropos when he needs to be snipped for the final time."

As Clotho and Lachesis headed out to find Atropos Lachesis had just laid down Harry's new spool of thread meaning to have Atropos and Clotho tell her when enough was enough. The two finally found Atropos but in all that was going on the final snip was not established so Harry Potter's spool of yarn lay uncollected nor snipped.

/Scene Break/

"Drac old boy I can't tell you how I missed you and you too Hedwig."

"You have only been gone for four days Harry."

"It was four years for me Drac."

"So did you learn anything?"

"Where do I start? All I will tell you is that Ragnok is a slave driver he had more tutors in that time distortion chamber then there was time to learn it all. Slide back into my arm and let's go aggravate the Dursleys before I take you two out to eat." It didn't take much to aggravate the Dursley family. I 'slid' into the living room said Hi and 'slid' out as Vernon started his cursing.

Drac and Hedwig loved the pizza parlor. After two large pizzas were delivered to our table I put up a 'Notice-me-not' charm around the table and Drac popped out and started on one of the pizza pies. Hedwig loved to snitch the pepperoni followed by a drink of Pepsi. The Pepsi did something to her as she would do a quick two-step before hunting more pepperoni. We always had a good time like the ghost party.

Flashback:

How was I to know, I'm supposed to be the kid around here? Jacob had asked and brought a few of his ghost friends over one night. Apparently some had not seen each other in quite a long time so they started reminiscing. One ghost popped out to find some other friends the first group hadn't seen and it continued. The next thing I know there was a room full of ghosts some were from the headless hunt. They thankfully left their horses in the training room. Some one brought a couple of kegs of ghost ale and the party was underway.

Finally the party started to break up but could they leave like normal people? No! Some how the music got even louder and they did a conga line out the basement door. I think it upset Vernon as they dances through his bedroom and vanished out through the wall. I learned all this later from Jacob. He thought that the funniest part was when Vernon was storming down the stairs the Headless Hunt mounted on their horses and swinging their decapitated heads raced out of the basement wall and out through the living room wall.

End Flashback:

Three years later:

"Alright the tutors say you're ready for the big test how do you feel about it?" Ragnok asked.

"Scare, terrified and ready to run just about sums it up." I wasn't kidding.

"Alright the Christmas party is being held at the Longbottom Manor. There is going to be a ton of kids your age but the party is for the rich and famous adults. Since no one knows what Harry Potter looks like except for a lighting bolt scar which you no longer have, the party should be a good test of your social training. Here is your gift for the hostess and you will be going as Harry Von Trit a Dutch aristocrat's son."

I almost choked at the name, leave it to Ragnok to use Dutch slang to insult me under the noses of the English.

I had to use the 'floe' and I hate the 'floe'. So after choking on soot and cleaning my dress robes of that soot I launched into the pureblood introduction ritual. I was then given to Neville Longbottom to escort me around for the introduction circuit. Ragnok was correct these people were the pompous and arrogant in the upper-crust of magical England. It wasn't long before I realized why Ragnok was so adamant in me coming to this soiree.

Neville was more nervous that I and sometime stuttered the introductions, "This is the Chief Warlock among his many titles, Headmaster Dumbledore this is Harry Von Trit."

"As I shook his hand and said "pleasure to meet you" the turkey tries to read my mind. It was a passing probe but an attempt none the less.

"Yes Chief Warlock is it your habit to use the spell 'Legilimens' on all that are introduced to you?"

"I assure you Mr. Von Trit that you are mistaken."

"Sure I am, come Neville the buffet awaits us."

"You shouldn't say things like that to the Dumbledore his is quite famous and respected." Neville was scared.

"Tell you what, introduce me to the red-head and you can do what you would like to do, ok?"

"Miss Susan Bones I would like to introduce you to Mr. Harry Von Trit." Neville left.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Von Trit."

"The pleasure is mine and more so if you will dance this waltz with me." I was off and running the rest of the evening. Susan introduced me around to the younger crowd which had some arrogant snobs trying to be adults. One such poof was Draco Malfoy. Later I got mixed up with some Wizengemot members that were discussing a proposed law. Rotating around I was having a nice discussion with the Head of the DMLE Madam Bones when Susan returned demanding another dance.

"You know you're the only boy here that is dancing? Most are afraid to ask or are pompous asses like Draco."

"I am here to please besides I like dancing." it turned out to be my famous last words.

"May I cut in Susan or are you going to hog him all night."

Hannah Abbott had the next two dances before Pansy Parkinson stepped in for a slow dance. "I find these gatherings quite boring; all Draco does is hang out with Crab and Goyle. Theodore Nott I do believe cannot dance. I must say you dance adequately."

Thankfully Susan cut back in and dragged me to the punch bowl when the waltz was finished.

"Look boys the dancing queen is taking a break." Draco Malfoy mouth had been engaged.

"Yes it is enjoyable to dance with enjoyable company that is why you are probable not asked."

"How dare you my father…"

"Your father is probably going to be embarrassed with you making a fool of yourself at this party because if he isn't he needs to be. Run along and depress someone else with your incompetence."

"What is going on here?"

"He is insulting your guests and threatening me." Draco stated as if it was the final word.

"Actually he is making a fool of his family by acting like a three-year because I enjoy dancing at your ball."

"Susan?"

"Draco is being Draco." That was all that Susan said and Lady Longbottom hauled Draco off to his father.

I have been told that the magical community was behind the muggle world. All I can say is the Foxtrot and the Lindy Hop was considered the new fashion in dancing. Still the Quadrille and the Gallop were still in play. As the evening progressed we kids started to fade out. I said my goodbyes and headed for bed.

The next morning Ragnok beat the tutors into my basement, "Harry, well done! The reports are you handled the old blowhards well and did yourself good in most people's eyes with the dancing, even dragged a few old ladies onto the floor, very good. You get high ratings handling young Malfoy the way you did."

"Who was your spy at the party might I ask?"

"Now that would be telling, let's get you up as your tutor is anxious to get started with your advanced shielding."

So the days proceeded and I learned and learned. While not an aged old man of the world I still like to learn. My life was without most everything normal for a kid but what I was being provided was appreciated. I did my best as I really did enjoy most everything except being knock on my bum by the dueling instructor. I do hate getting my ass handed to me by my fencing tutor and the potions still taste like dragon dung but these are small compared to what I am learning.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Harry Potter is recognized

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Time marches on while I stir my potions, blow up my targets and duel my tutors. My mornings start early with a run and other calisthenics. Breakfast is followed by Potions then lunch and dueling. Finally my Kung-fu instructor comes in and beats the snot out of me followed by a shower. Then I read, study and do essays. Today my dueling instructor found that I had learned what he was trying to teach me then beat the snot out of me. Drac likes the run in the morning as he flies while I run although I think its magical flying his wings are but stubs. Hedwig just sits around and steals my bacon at breakfast. Today was different Hedwig delivered a parchment from Ragnok which requested my presents this morning at Gringotts and then stole my bacon.

"Harry good you are here early today is going to be quite a day in your life."

"You found a new tutor did you?"

"No its decision day for you, your letter from Hogwarts just came in and by age you may become emancipated."

"Oh!" This day I had been putting off for a few years. I am now eleven years old but due to the aging I am fourteen and can take my house ring and be emancipated.

"Harry I know you could just chunk the whole mess and make a run for it but Hogwarts is in your family tradition. You have heard the prophesy and Voldemort will come after you were ever you run too. At Hogwarts you can make contacts that will help you as future Ministry or Wizengamot members. Although you are going to be bored out of your mind for the next seven years but we can still train in your spare time." I knew Ragnok really wanted me at Hogwarts.

"Ok you win give me some parchment and I will accept the invitation."

When that was done I was given the Potter ring and then the Gryffindor ring. I knew there was something going on because Ragnok was smirking. Goblins don't smirk. Unless you know Goblins really well you can't tell they are smirking. He then slipped a box across the table and asked me to put on the ring. The ring accepted me without doing much of anything.

"Congratulation Lord Slytherin."

"How?"

"You won the title by conquest."

"But I thought Riddles wrath was slithering around somewhere making him not dead."

"True but he was defeated by you, none-the-less that House is yours even if he finds a body."

"Thanks Ragnok you just had to add some fuel to the fire. From what you said about the inner working of Hogwarts being a Slytherin is not in my interest. Oh well the first day there should be fun once they see the Potter kid."

"You mean find out that you are the Potter kid? In any way you show up just remember to be that dumb Potter kid. You are going to find it hard to hide all of your capacities even if you try to act the dumb kid act. Never let your enemy know what your capable of."

/Scene Break/

The only shopping I need to do was to buy a trunk and Hogwarts robes. The trunk was a three bedroom affair with den and a storage room. I had Tiki stock the fridge and added a couple of cases of Pepsi to the storage room. Tiki was happy with both places to clean and maintain but Hedwig was upset until I sent Tiki out to get an owl stand for the trunk. That's one drawback from having a house elf you forget to do things because it's automatically done by the elf.

August thirty-first:

"Ragnok is there anything else going on that I need to know or do as I'm off tomorrow to Hogwarts?"

"Just one thing, I have added a new alarm ward to Privet Drive. I find it odd that no one was dispatched to escort you to Diagon Alley. You are supposedly raised muggle in a house that hates magic so how would you know anything about the magical world. Anyhow, I have added an alarm that will sound like a door bell if a magical in within a block of Privet Drive."

"Interesting that, Oh well, I'm off to the vaults to make a withdrawal so I will see you probably this weekend, Toodles." I took a large couple of bags, filled them and put the Galleons and Pounds in my trunk. There was no reason to be caught short of coin.

/Scene Break/

August thirty-first:

"Come on through Alaster" Headmaster Albus Dumbledore was curious why Alaster 'MadEye' Moody was calling so late in the day.

"Albus your young Potter hasn't been seen by our folks stationed at the Leaky Cauldron."

"Interesting, I should have sent someone over to pick him up but Minerva had already dispatched his train tickets."

"Do you think that there has been fowl play?"

"Alaster it's too late in the day to do anything. Have a couple of Order Member on the platform tomorrow as I already have Molly and her herd outside the barrier to intercept young Mr. Potter. Just make sure he gets on the train safely."

"You got it Albus, see you later." Alaster 'floed' out of the Headmasters office for the Ministry.

/Scene Break/

Getting to Kings Cross was a real pain so I wasn't buzzin'. There was no way I could 'slid' there as either I would scare a muggle or appear to have 'apperated'. It's always nice to know where your going so you don't appear on the shoulders of some little old lady. Either way I would be in trouble as I had no license to 'apperate'. With my trunk shrunk and in my pocket I 'slid' to an alley by the Leaky Cauldron. There I had to 'floe' to Kings Cross' using the soot motorway. I boarded the train early and started reading a new book.

Soon the noise on the crowded platform got my attention. As the train started to fill some of my acquaintances from earlier parties arrived.

Susan Bones with Hannah Abbott were the first to arrive. "Harry mind if we join you for the trip?"

"Not at all, it will be a delightful trip with two lovely ladies."

"Why Mr. Von Trit I do believe you have a silver tongue filled with blarney".

"I do believe you are correct Miss Abbott." I smiled.

Tracey Davis and Daphne Greengrass showed after a bit and then Neville clutching a toad arrived with a girl who was probably a muggleborn. After she opened her mouth it was obvious. The compartment was packed and I was now sitting on my trunk rather than a plush seat. We all would never have fit in the compartment except we were all eleven year olds.

"So what brings all you lovely ladies to this compartment?" I knew there must be some reason besides my good looks.

Tracey Davis answered, "The choice of you or Draco makes your question moot."

"Yes he does have…" I was interrupted by the door sliding open and red-headed boy was standing there. He was trying not to be obvious but he was checking out me and Neville's foreheads.

"Looking for something?" Susan asked.

"I heard Harry Potter is on the train."

"Sorry but I'm Neville Longbottom and he is Harry Von Trit."

"I laughed and said, "Yes that's one of my names today." That got me some strange looks.

The red-head left without introduction but Daphne did the honors, "Another Weasley it seems."

"What do you mean one of your names?" Susan asked.

"I have several titles that I am aware of." I now saw what Ragnok was saying about acting dumb was not going to be enough.

I was not going to be able to keep it all quiet but I thought that being Lord Slytherin was definitely one of those things. Von Trit is a made up name I am among other names Lord Gryffindor."

"Oh I have read about him he was in Hogwarts a History…" Hermione Granger was interrupted by Daphne, "OH SWEET MERLIN!"

"What's wrong Daphne?" Tracey was shocked and looked worried.

"Unless Mr. Smarty Pants is pulling our leg he is also known as Lord Harry Potter."

"Oh well so much for making it to the sorting before my dirty laundry is spread around." I sighed. The compartment door again slid open but this time is was Draco the arrogant.

"Have you'all heard what compartment Harry Potter is in? Father wants me to introduce him to some of our friends."

"No we haven't so just leave and take your two Tools with you." Daphne it seemed was more interested in Harry Potter than Draco's interests.

"AND what are you doing here with that?" Draco pointed at me.

"Are all the magical's this rude Neville?" Hermione asked.

"Now I am confused what all you are doing sitting with a mudblood." Draco extended his rudeness.

"I think that is enough of your mouth Draco, you were asked to leave now I am telling you to get lost." I thought I was supposed to be the dumb kid.

"Going to make us Trit?"

I waved my hand and Draco and his two boys flew backwards into the far wall and the compartment door slid shut.

"How did you do that? We haven't been trained to do magic yet." We were finding that Hermione Granger was a question a minute type having to know everything.

"Are we going to get into trouble?" Neville stuttered.

"Magic is allowed the minute we step onto the train for Hogwarts." I replied.

"Are you really Harry Potter?" Hannah asked.

"Yes I'm afraid so."

"You don't look like your story book pictures." Hermione stated, "Harry Potter has short spiky hair and a lightning bolt scar on his forehead.

My hair had a bobble making my shoulder length hair into a ponytail and my leach was long gone, "I believe that the books you are referring to are all made up trash."

The conversations ended when a teacher opened the door and demanded who had attacked Draco Malfoy. I beat everyone else and answered.

"Do you mean the blood incompetent that fell over his goon's big feet?" everyone giggled except the teacher who demanded our wands. She did a double take over mine as it showed my last spell that I had cast. 'Impedimenta, Incarcerous, and Petrificus Totalus' were not spell a first year could cast no less know. So much for pretending to be a dumb kid.

The questions started flying after the teacher left but I diverted my wandless magic to Crab and Goyle's big feet being the cause and the spells on my wand being done by an adult who I had loaned my wand.

"You do know you have not gotten away with that. Draco will blame you and he will whine to his godfather." Tracey stated.

"And?"

"Draco's godfather is Professor Snape who is one nasty individual." Daphne shook her head like 'woe upon you'.

Lucky my interigation had ended as Hogmeade Village's platform came and we all headed to the boats and Hogwarts.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – The Sorting and Potions

.

"Wooh! How much of your life does the lemon drop fart know?" The hat asked.

"None and I hope it stays that way if you catch my drift."

"Not from me he doesn't but he definitely has his eyes on you. He's probably going to pop a fuse trying to find out how you were doing the party circuit and how much you know. You can count on him having you in his office very soon. So let see what house. Mhmm…Slytherin looks good and you are Lord Slytherin."

"Not even, I met Draco and he is typical Slytherin and we could not be in the same House one of us would not survive."

Well that leaves you parents old House…GRYFFINDOR!

I notice out of the corner of my eye, as I walked to the Gryffindor table, that I had the attention of at least three set of eyes at the head table. Oh well one step at a time. I sat next to Hermione and Neville and pretended to be watching the rest of the sorting but surveyed the head table. This was interrupted by Ron Weasley who hopped off the stool and sat across from me and started his mouth. "Hay Mate, great us being in the same house."

When the food appeared Ron proceeded to stuff his face at an abnormal rate. That was not the best sight but then he tried to talk and food started to fly from his mouth.

"Mr. Weasley I won't sit around you while you spit food at me. Either keep you mouth closed while you eat or find somewhere else to sit." I had to brush a bit of chicken off my robes.

While he mumbled an apology I had to remind him again later about talking with his mouth full.

After the feast we headed to the common room and finally to our dorm. I may have too much of an analytical mind but the first thing I noticed was the bed assignments. While random seating is normal in the Great hall or in class seating but beds are usually assigned alphabetically or numbered. The bed assignment was Potter, Weasley, Longbottom, Finigan, Thomas. No name plates or signs you just recognized your trunk and that was at the foot of your bed. In an emergency how would a teacher find a particular student in a room full or curtain drawn bed?

The next morning everyone was excited and rushed to the Great Hall for breakfast and their schedules. Things got rolling first thing as Ron decided to sit with Hermione, Neville and myself. "I can't wait to see when we get to fly brooms." He then proceeded to cram his mouth full and tried to speak which launched food particles at the surrounding students. I just reached for my juice and with a flick of my hand his mouth disappeared. Well of course he panicked and was trying to scream and started to jump up and down waving his arms and pointing to his face.

"Mr. Weasley what is your problem." Professor McGonagall sternly glared at him.

I thought I could add some light, "Professor I believed someone had enough of his spitting food around and did us all a favor and sealed his mouth closed."

Mr. Weasley if that is true I suggest you improve your manners while eating or it will be detention with Mr. Filch and should I find out who did this they will suffer the same fate." She marched off after removing the spell from Ron's mouth.

"It looks like a long battle with him." Hermione said as Ron moved to the other end of the Gryffindor table.

"Well we have potions first thing so we best retrieve out books from our dorm. Does anyone know where the potion class is held?" You would think they would provide a map of this place for the new students.

When we entered the Potion class room it was obvious were the Gryffindor's were to sit. Hermione and Neville were going to partner up so that left me with Weasley so I hot-footed it over to Daphne on the Slytherin side. Tracy had already teamed up with Zabini.

"Care for a partner Daphne?"

"Are you nuts Gryffindor and Slytherin's never socialize."

"Ah but we are not socializing we are doing school work."

"It's your funeral Potter."

"POTTER what are you doing over there?" Snape sneered.

"Sitting I believe it's called Professor."

"That's going to cost you ten points Potter."

"Thank you Professor."

"That will be another ten points for cheek Potter."

"As I said before, thank you Professor."

"Twenty points and detention Potter."

"Oh! Why thank you Professor Snape."

Daphne was hissing at me to stop while the rest of Slytherin were laughing, Gryffindor were mixed in their emotions and mostly death stares.

Snape forgot to move me and started his class by asking me about ten questions five of which were six and seven-year information. The last couple were out of a book for Master Potion brewers. Snape was turning colors in his rage as I answered them all correctly. He finally pointed his wand at the chalk board where the potion for the day appeared and yelled "BEGIN!"

Cheesed off Potter? Slow down I can hardly keep up cutting the ingredients, where did you learn to brew?"

"I'm on mission and my tutor taught me."

I had finished and filled three vials of the potion that we made, I was glad that I did." No sooner than we leaned back to relax then Snape slithered over.

"Totally unacceptable" and he vanished the contents of our cauldron.

"Thank you Professor Snape" I said and got another ten point deduction.

Daphne was letting me know, "You have a death wish Potter? Have you lost your mind?" She hissed as quietly as possible so as not to incur any point deductions for Slytherin.

"Daphne hush and listen! I figured Draco told Snape some type store and if Snape was going to get me I had best be ready. Watch what happens at the end of class."

"Alright clean up and turn in a vial of your potion and get out." Snape scowled.

"Here you are professor one viol of our potion for your grading."

Snape said nothing but when I turned my back I heard him say, "Whoops" and the sound of my unbreakable vial hitting the floor.

As everyone hurried to the Great Hall and lunch, "Harry you caused so much trouble and lost Gryffindor so many points." Hermione was already starting.

"Sorry Hermione but I have a complaint to file, catch you at the Great Hall."

"So you see Professor McGonagall Professor Snape assessed excessive points in one class session. He disregarded the rules by not summoning or contacting my head of house for disciplinary actions. Hogwarts rules have been violated in multiple areas in his class today."

"Thank you Mr. Potter I will take care of this, also disregard the detention. You may go to lunch now Mr. Potter."

"Thank you Professor" and I headed off for lunch knowing that this was the first of many battles soon to come. In fact I was surprised that Dumbledore had not questioned my other name I had used at the different parties as I was sure he would have remembered me.

/Scene Break/

We had established a study group with Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Slyterin students. Ron had problems with everyone from Slytherin but he also avoided the library like the plague. I was totally bored with classes but the study group in the library gave me access to reference books for the mandatory essays and I did enjoy helping the others. I did spend a lot of time in the common room playing chess with Ron but I figured he would never be a close friend.

The second class with Snape got our results of the last potion we brewed. The zero was accompanied with a note stating that I had been previously told that the potion brewed was worthless. We repeated the same routine as last class, Snape vanished our potion but as last time I had a vial already made for him.

After class I was again knocking on Professor McGonagall's door, "Yes professor I need your permission and attendance at a formal complaint by me to the Headmaster."

"Professor Snape grades his students potions based on his talents. You are a first year student and have no standing or credibility to challenge his grading."

"So you are saying no meeting with the headmaster?"

"That is correct Mr. Potter."

"I am sorry you feel that way and I hope the Headmaster will not look poorly on you as I shall be taking this to the Board of Governors."

"Mr. Potter I will not be threatened…"

"I made a statement of fact informing you of my actions, it was not a threat."

"Very well Mr. Potter you shall have your meeting and I hope you will be satisfied with its results."

McGonagall 'floe' called the Headmaster so Professor Snape was waiting with the Headmaster when we arrived. We were not in his office a second when Snape launched into the assassination of my parent's reputation which I thought was funny.

"Just like his arrogant father thinking this meeting is funny."

"Actually Headmaster it has been quite entertaining in a perverse way. However to the point, I wish this vial of that potion under discussion be tested by an independent potion brewer and an apology from Snape for the way he has been insulting me."

"That's Professor Snape Harry."

"That's you opinion Headmaster not mine."

"Severus please take this vial and have it analyzed for it quality and let me know as soon as possible." Snape took the vial and again accidentally dropped it on the stone floor.

"Headmaster you have just lost the trust of one Harry Potter" I turned and left his office. I found an empty classroom and slid to the Ministry of Magic and the Office of the Board of Governors. Being like every other government office no one was in except the secretary. She however made a mistake in letting me know that Amelia Bones was on the Board and also the Head of the DMLE.

I headed for the lift and headed to level two for a runaround with that secretary. I finally got in to see Madam Bones when I said to tell Madam Bones that Harry Potter wanted an appointment.

"So that is my story and my last vial of the potion I brewed. Should you have any questions on my capabilities you should contact Chika Takahashi who trained me in potions." That lit up the eyes of Madam Bones.

"The Japanese Potion Master?"

"Yes Madam Bones the same."

/Scene Break/

Gryffindor was not happy with me and the Slytherin were laughing at me but my friends stayed with me. Well Ron became scarce but he only hung around me for the fame at least I hoped that was the only reason. Snape continued to remove points any time he saw me. Then it got quiet, Snape became a clam and made himself scarce, he was hardly seen in the Great Hall.

It was breakfast a few days later and Hedwig glided in to steal some bacon and deliver the Dailey Profit, in that order. The Headlines were big and loud and Hermione gasp drew the attention of those around me to the paper. Some hack of a reporter was ripping Albus Dumbledore for hiring Snape and Snape for abusing his position as a Professor. Twenty minutes later the other student's owls arrived and a few cheers went up around the Great Hall as student found that Snape was on probation.

"Harry what did you do?" Hermione demanded.

"Yes Harrykins what did you do?" asked one of the Weasley twins who was now leaning over my shoulder. I made a mental note to check my robes for something he may have attached to cause a prank.

I didn't get to answer or check my robes as my breakfast was interrupted by Professor McGonagall, "Mr. Potter the Headmaster wishes to see you in his office."

"Lead the way Professor."

"The Headmaster wants to see you alone Mr. Potter."

"Sorry Professor school rules. If you can't handle the problem then the Headmaster does but I am requesting your presents as my Head of House."

"Oh very well I guess I should be there as I have read the Dailey Profit this morning."

Dumbledore was there but so was Snape.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Happy relatives

.

"Harry so nice that you could join us, lemon drop?"

"No thank you."

"We would like you to explain how you know Chika Takahashi."

"Not school related."

"Pardon?"

"None of your business it's not school related, Sir."

"Your complaint to the Board of Governors is school related so I again ask how you know Takahashi."

"My complaint was over Snape's bias and giving me a failing score for a perfect potion. How I know someone not related to Hogwarts is still not any of your business Headmaster."

"That's Professor Snape Harry."

"That's you opinion, Sir."

Snape joined in, "see I told you just an arrogant trouble maker."

"Enough Severus. Harry how are your relatives treating you?"

"Why the sudden interest, Sir?"

"This falls under school business Harry."

"Even if you won't answer my questions my relative are treating me just like you found out the last time you visited."

"I asked how they treat you now."

"Oh just great, between Vernon and his son Dudley they have taught me how to bully and threaten people. With them as an example I can hate really well, just like I'm sure you know since you check so often into my home life, Sir."

"I am sure you are just trying to make me feel bad for making them your guardians."

"Not at all, that's why I have so many Slytherin friends. I want one of two of their Deatheater fathers to help me with some of the better curses. I was going to get Draco's Deatheater father to help me but Draco and I don't get along.

"Surely Harry you don't want to turn dark like they are, do you?"

"Of course Headmaster Voldemort is my hero." I wasn't sure just how much I could shovel down his gullet before he got sick but it was nice trying.

"Ah, thank you Harry you are dismissed."

As we were headed to the common room Professor McGonagall said, "Harry Potter you should be ashamed of yourself goading an old man like that, do you want him to have a heart attack?"

"Sorry Professor as far as I am concerned he asked for it backing Snape like that. Master Takahashi believes I am good enough in Potions that I could get an apprentice position with a master in a year or two, so a simple boil removing potion is not something that I would fail to make properly."

/Scene Break/

Somewhere in all the fun I must have missed Dumbledore's warning over the third floor. In the end it was all hot air. Hermione is a bookworm and if she doesn't have an answer to a question she either looks it up in a book or bugs the hell out of someone she thinks has the answer. That's what got me into this stupid situation.

Flashback:

"Harry I just need to get into the Restricted Section of the library. You know your way around and you always have your nose in a book surly the Restricted Section has something of interest to you?"

"So what's so interesting about Nicolas Flamel to get Hermione Granger a detention?"

"I just have to know that's all." So we went. I would have told her what I knew about Flamel but no straight answer from her gets no answer from me.

I did find a couple of interesting books and while Hermione was digging in the shelves. I called Tiki and she took the books to my trunk. I should have 'slid' out of there but Hermione was to slow besides I think Irma Pince the librarian sleeps with her books in the library. She sneaked up and leaped like an angry cat. So we were caught and in the end sent to Hagrid's shack for our detention.

End Flashback:

It is dark and Hagrid is leading the way through the Forbidden Forest. Hermione is terrified and her chattering teeth are going to scare or attract half of the forest.

"You two stay here with Fang in this here clearing, I need to go over this ways for a tick. Don't leave, just stay here I'll be right back."

Right he will be right back, right. I have not had my hormones kick in yet so Hermione's trembling with her arms wrapped around me isn't doing much for me. I have my left arm around her shoulder for consolation when this crashing through the underbrush sound starts from our left. Fang bolts off in the opposite direction and Hermione starts a vice grip tightening mode as an animal scream starts. The scream stops as two things fall into the clearing.

One thing looked like a half dead unicorn and the other thing looked like an almost human thing. Well I must thank Ragnok, when I see him again, for the tutors in offensive magic. The almost human thing turns on us and starts to approach menacingly and laughing insanely. I hit it with the strongest 'Confringo' I could throw wandlessly. The thing exploded along with two trees behind him and they say a wandless blasting curse is weaker than wand magic. Then Hagrid decides to come and help, help the unicorn that is. Didn't Hagrid know that Hermione was crushing me into jelly?

Christmas came and I went to the basement where it was quiet and trouble-free. When we got back to Hogwarts we had a new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher. The headmaster said that Quirrel had decided to take a vacation and he introduced the new DADA professor.

/Scene Break/

Drac and Hedwig appeared to be arguing so I let them both out into the woods to terrorize the natives. I sent Tiki to pick-up whatever Ragnok had for me and pick up a bag of Galleons. Girls were expensive to be around. Whether it was Hermione's eyes over wanting a book or Daphne's purring over Honeyduke's chocolate. Hannah was always mooching a Pepsi which were not available at Hogwarts. Susan was the pizza freak. I was elected to provide the coin or provide the goods so galleons were a necessity.

"Master Harry here is Lord Ragnok's mail for you."

"Thank you Tiki, soup and sandwiches for lunch is fine." POP

Well there goes the summer I thought. I had read the letter from Ragnok and it basically said an inventory was needed of all my vaults. The Goblins knew how much gold was in the vaults but the other stuff needed to be dealt with so that required my presents. That started me believing that there was someone who had it in for me in the vast heavens or hell. The girls were also planning my summer. There was a good chance that someone was laughing somewhere over what was happening to me constantly.

/Scene Break/

As June started so did the Headmaster. I was called into his office and I think I left them worrying that I was indeed turning dark. The Headmaster was expecting me to balk or whine about going back to Privet Drive.

"Headmaster I have told you that I like it there with the Dursleys. They teach me all kinds of thing and how to beat up younger kids and swindle money from the firm. I am trying to get Mr. Nott to let me come over for a week for some training on curses."

"I was talking to Molly Weasley and we can let you go over to her place after you charge the wards at Privet Drive,"

"Oh! No sir. I wouldn't want to miss out on any of the good times in Little Whinging. I mean the whole gang will be out of school and we have such plans for the park. The younger kids to beat up, you know all the fun stuff."

I have no idea if he bought that load of dragon dung but it made me happy thinking he did. The train ride back was uneventful except Hannah looking like she was interested in Neville.

/Scene Break/

It was a fabulist summer of amusement parks, cinemas and parties. Take out food was the number one hit with the magical raised and Hermione and I enjoyed finding all the different countries cholesterol clogging foods.

As for the vaults I had the Goblins sell most of the furniture we found. I would not use that furniture even if someone paid me but since it was very old we got a ton of money for them as antiques. So it went with the clothing and arms. Some pieces were just ridicules in what they fetched at auction. One stupid vase that was ugly but that vase fetched a million pounds. I got two disturbing things. I found a letter from each of my parents in their vaults. In another vault was a deed to a plot of land in Little Hangleton and a deed to a Manor.

"You know when Voldemort comes back he is going to be one pissed off camper finding he is broke. Of course that shouldn't be much of a worry for me as a fight to the death doesn't make for good friends." I laughed.

"So you want the properties appraised and sold? Ragnok again asked.

"Yes that's the plan and if they are of no worth burn it down and spread salt as the old saying goes."

"Have you opened those letters yet?

"No I am thinking of getting a bottle of firewhisky and hide out in Privet Drive. Reading them is not going to be nice, I just feel it."

That night I skipped the firewhiskey and read the letters. I was back in Ragnok's office the next day.

"I would like you to read these two letters so you know what is going on, when your done we need to talk." So I sat and waited.

"So Dumbledore knew and put up the charm on their house."

"Yes and he knows the prophesy. I really don't care about parents I never knew. Curious yes, glad they took the time to have me, of course. This whole thing with secret keepers and prophecy's stinks in my opinion but it's not a priority right now. What I need is you to formally and legally request that invisibility cloak be returned to the estate. He has had over a year to just hand it over and say something nice about borrowing it from my father. He is not giving me any information on much of anything. It's as if it's some game he is playing so make our demands official."

"I must say that I have wondered about the lack of books and your vaults. Family as old as yours have books by the thousands."

"So you think that they are stored elsewhere?

"Or someone has helped themselves to the Potter library."

"They could have sold them off like I am doing to the furniture."

"Yes but each family has a Grimoire which is a book of family curse, spell and wards. Your family is noted for wards and we found no such book or books."

"I can almost feel like killing over that news."

"Fret not Harry as Grimoire are only readable by family members, everyone else will see blank pages."

/Scene Break/

We had arrived at the welcoming feast for our second year at Hogwarts. Draco had run his mouth on the train and Ron was still doing a Draco imitation when any Slytherins were around. It was almost too quiet at school. I had enjoyed the summer training with the tutors. They had not tried to cram more into my small head but refined what I had. In dueling they had determined what spells and curses I was best at and put them into a fighting package. I could string curses that I specialized in while doing shields wandlessly. The few new curses were absolutely the most to end all curses. The curses they added in were from old books and scrolls from almost forgotten times, damn wicked.

On the second day of school at lunch I was sitting at the table and I got, "Hello Harry" when I turned to see who said that she hauls off and kiss me full on the lips. "I'm Luna Lovegood and I plan on doing just that with you."

"Err"

"Yes it was a bit weak but I'm sure your kissing will improve in the next two years." She turned and skipped away to the Ravenclaw table.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked my friends at the table.

"Looks like you have a girlfriend there Mr. Potter." Hermione was giggling while Neville's fork was suspended half way to his mouth.

"I don't know but can I get dubs on being next?" Hermione giggled.

I wondered if the girl population had all gone mad when Hedwig glided in and dropped a parchment and tried to make off with my pork chop. Actually it was a snatch and run but the pork chop was a bit large. She just gave me a nasty look like it was my fault and sank her claws into the meat and took to flight. Drac I assumed was not to be left out and popped up and snatched the steak from the plate on my left. It looked like he swallowed it whole and disappeared back into our tattoo. That left the table speechless not to mention me with a burping tatoo.

Well it only got better as the parchment Hedwig delivered wasn't a novel, 'Harry at your convenience me at Gringotts. Ragnok. So that weekend I headed to Gringotts.

"Harry, good you could make it we found something in Little Whinging besides a Manor. The dump is called the 'Gaunt shack' by the locals."

"And?"

"I just wanted to see if you knew or reacted to the name. The Gaunt's are where half of Riddle came from, the Manor was the other half." Ragnok then told the tale of Tom Marvolo Riddle aka Voldemort.

"Nice family that but how does that make news?"

"We burnt down the Manor and gave the caretaker Frank a bunch of pound and told him to get lost. He was happy and did move away. The Gaunt place was as hovel or run down shack but when we approached it there were enough wards to give a Dragon heartburn, we backed off. The ward breaker had a field day undoing all the crap that Voldemort put on this ring that Ragnok tossed on the table. We have removed the curses, horcrux and compulsion charms so it's now just a piece of junk. Your bill is in the post."

I took the ring twirled it around in my fingers and slipped it on my pinkie to see how it looked.

"Not worth anything and no one can see why it was worth so much as to make it a horcrux." Ragnok continued.

While Ragnok was talking and I slipped on the ring I got a feeling that made me feel warm and asked what a horcrux was. That took some time and was very upsetting to know you had to kill an innocent to split your soul.

I refilled my bag with Galleons and headed back to Hogwarts.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6—To chamber on, or maybe not

.

Our fist class with Lockhart was enough for any sane person. Hermione had already read all of his thick books and had declared him a liar. For Hermione to declare that a professor was a liar was putting the lid on his coffin and nailing it shut.

We called a meeting the next night with the Weasley twins. It was somewhat the meeting of the inmates of Hogwarts who were not altogether all sane..

"I think we should put a Fartdobber in his shorts" was Luna's suggestion.

"I think Harry should get the Goblins to sue him for false writing." Hermione demanded.

"He is so dreamy don't you think Neville?" Hannah asked but a jealous Neville only nodded but it looked like death by boiling was his in his thoughts for Lockhart.

Daphne wanted her father to start a Wizengamot investigation on how he was in the Defense league.

The best was the Weasley twins. They had the answer but not the delivery system. When I called Tiki and Drac the twins were dancing in a circle in enthusiasm. Hedwig showed up and wasn't happy not having a part to play. Don't ask, I just knew that's what my familiar was upset about. The twins came up with a bit more and everyone was eager and happy, the pranks were about to start.

I had a fleeting thought and it bothered me for a second. Drac I could talk to with snake language. How I could feel the ring and understand Hedwig was puzzling.

It took a month but the prank was ready, well pranks really. It was evening meal and Tiki had it arranged so everyone's drink was filled with a drop of a special substance. Hedwig was going to give a hoot which was the start signal to start Drac who was going to do a fly-by. Much of what was planned didn't quite go as scheduled or planned. It seemed that our little group was full a ham actors that had to pad their parts, but it was fun.

What was supposed to happen was Hedwig was to hoot causing the staff table to have pink robes, bunny noses and ears via the potion Tiki had put in their food. The students were to have the twin's potion that gave everyone Lockhart's hair again slipped in their food by Tiki. Drac the mini dragon was just going to do a fly-by as he was scary enough and was a good distraction. A banner was to appear stating "The Marauders have returned'. They were some hero's of the Weasley twins that was supposed to produce terror in the professors.

I must say that I must reassess my familiars abilities but what actually happened was, the students did have Lockhart's hair. The teachers did have bunny noses and ears and the banner stating 'The Marauders have returned" did unroll from the ceiling. What was not planned by us and the twins was following the 'hoot' a streak of fire speed across the length of the staff table causing a mini blizzard? The flying mini dragon flying the length of the staff table sent a stream of fire from it mouth causing Hedwig's foot deep snow on the staff table to steam obscuring the head table and the two familiars.

The twins announced to our group a super great and successful prank. I personally wanted my hair back to normal. Meanwhile the twins had been called to Professor McGonagall's office with her cursing eternal detentions while her bunny ears flopped around. It was hard to take her seriously.

/Scene Break/

Snape and Draco were becoming unbearable again and became the target of pranks. Besides being daddy war bucks for the girls I now got the honorary protector status. Hermione got jinxed in the mouth by Draco making her teeth grow like a beaver. She had to go to the hospital while Draco found himself butt naked in the Great Hall spread eagled and stuck to the Slytherin table. It took the powerful Albus Dumbledore ten minutes to get Draco unstuck. Snape found himself one morning covered in a very thick strawberry syrup which he was allergic too. He had given a couple of unjust detentions to a couple of the girls. Revenge was sweet.

The twins were now almost living in McGonagall's office as the accused for all the pranks. The twins did get a pass when several Ravenclaw girls were found in their underwear in the Great Hall with a sign over their head stating bullies; one of the girls was a perfect. The twins were in detention with McGonagall at the time so they got a pass on that event. Luna was no longer looking for her shoes and clothes. A note to Fenwick caused him to go on the war path within Ravenclaw over bullies in his house.

/Scene Break/

The writing on the wall and Filch's cat being petrified got the rumor mill into overdrive. It was funny that Draco got caught next to the petrified cat when the classes let out. Drac heard the voice as I did and he set out to find an answer.

Two days later Drac showed up and declared a Basilisk in the basement. After a look in the library to find out what a Basilisk was and how dangerous. I decided to move to Las Vegas and retire, our entire group supported the idea of a mass move.

Not long after I was told it was a Basilisk Ron and Hermione with the reluctant help of Neville were in Moaning Myrtle bathroom brewing a potion and found a diary. When I touched it I recognized evil that needed to be destroyed. I swear even the Gaunt ring was vibrating.

Deciding to destroy the diary so we headed out to the lake but who did we run into in the stairways but our favorite Potion master who demanded the diary. "Potter give me that book, NOW"

"Sorry Professor Private Property so get…"

"You will give it to me now Potter."

I was tired of him, "Looks like you enjoy pavement pizza, want a bite more Professor?" That confused Snape but he was in the process of making his usual come back when... 'Expelliarmus' I yelled and Snape flew into the corridor wall and slid unconscious to the floor.

"Harry we are going to be is so much trouble." Hermione whined.

"It's not my problem that guano droppings can't act like a normal person."

"Why are we going outside Harry?" Neville was typically nervous.

"We are heading to the lake for those who want to see real trouble."

At the lake I conjured a small boat and put the diary in it. I pushed it off the shore and let loose a Fiendfyre curse. It only had the boat and diary so it soon died as it could not eat lake water.

Of course this must have set off the wards at Hogwarts as half the professors came charging out to where we were.

"Mr. Potter what have you done?"

"I was just doing a little spell casting while I can legally can do so." I grinned.

"What spell was that Harry." Twinkled Dumbledore.

" Fiendfyre of course Headmaster."

McGonagall grabbed her chest and Dumbledore winced.

"Harry that's dark magic." Dumbledore gasped.

"Oh, sorry its one of the milder spell I know. As I told you I want to learn more as I have a prophesy to overcome."

"That's when Dumbledore grabbed his chest. "You know the prophesy?"

"Of course that's why I have been practicing some really great spells like 'Avada Kedavra' that's when McGonagall smiled and Dumbledore paled.

"But Harry…"

"Not a problem, I have been working up enough hate at the Dursley's to make the 'Crucio' spell work like it's supposed to work."

I saw from the corner of my eye McGonagall almost break down in laughter, Dumbledore just turned and headed off to his office. I didn't know I had pushed it too far.

"Harry you are going to kill Dumbledore if you keep joking like that."

"Sorry Professor but he wants what he wants and my problems don't mean squat to him, I really am against the dark if you mean the crap I keep hearing from him."

/Scene Break/

The word from Ragnok was that the Wizengemot and it leader Dumbledore was trying to revoke my lordships and put me under a guardian, three guesses who. The Goblins were kept busy along with my lawyers.

The year progressed with Ron a friend one day and him avoiding us the next because of his prejudices. His sister had the look of a starved predator looking at a prime piece of meat when she was looking at me. I and my friend were always on alert around Snape. He centered on me but if my friends were around they also were a target.

The Christmas balls were just fantastic, especially the Greengrass ball I almost got danced into the hospital. I was on the dance floor most of the night. Me I would have set in the corner and sucked on a drink but I was asked to dance each and every dance. I was so happy that Tiki had a hot bath ready for my arrival at the basement at #4 Privet drive. After all I had to keep the wards and alarms up to date or Dumbledore might come-a-knocking. . I was busy with tutors, girls and balls for the entire Christmas break.

Returning to school only had one high point, Draco and his two tools got blasted into a couple of slimy slugs. Draco had been making with his mouth insulting just about everyone within hearing distance but made a mistake when he pulled his wand on a second year who had told him to "shut up". Most of the train car riders had a hex or two they let him borrow for the ride. So much for running his mouth without looking who was looking or who you were insulting.

Our group were making bets on how many times I got to remove Ron's mouth before he left the table or he corrected his uncouth manors. Side bets were on detentions with Snape or how many point he could deduct per class.

School again passed in the agony of tests and essays and Snape. However, no one got blown up, expelled, or any other fun things. So time pressed on with transforming silver needles and dealing with an incompetent instructor… cough... Lockhart. Summer was not marred by anything until Ragnok summoned me to the bank.

"What with the call to get here ASAP? I asked.

'There has been a development. Your headmaster decided to turn over the cloak." He handed me the cloak and I felt sick.

"Ragnok this is indeed an invisibility cloak but it is not my father cloak. Dumbledore is trying to pull a fast one." Ragnok growled and after taking the substitute cloak he speed out of the office.

So came September 1st and the Hogwarts express. I had slid into the train and expanded the compartment. Neville and I were going to be overcome with enough girls to make anyone blush. I had the idea that any day now our hormones would cause a great deal of interesting problems. Why? Because I was already noticing the girls had curves. Then Luna happened again. I was sitting and chatting with Hermione when Luna entered the compartment and walked up to me. She grabbed my head and did a serious lip lock on me. I almost leaned forward to eat her alive when she pulled back and said, "Much better by next year the deplongers will dance at our union." She then comely sat down and pulled out a magazine and disappeared behind its covers.

Hermione was giggling very quietly while Daphne was shaking her head. Hannah was petting Neville's toad and making googly eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Who's He?

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The welcoming feast was unsettling as they announced the tri-wizard tournament. Ron was upset over them canceling Quitttage but the twins were outraged. That's one thing I didn't have to worry about as I avoided the game and any discussion of Quittage. I had a broom and enjoyed flying but Quittage I was not into. After that announcement the Great Halls doors were flung open and in a theatric scene with thunder clapping and flickering lights and lightning crashing overhead, MadEye Moody entered the Great Hall. That whole scene put me on alert as to who was fooling who. The Great Hall was inside the building and the night sky overhead was a Dumbledore construct. So who was making this phony theatrical scene.

The next morning Luna walks up and plops herself in my lap. "So Luna are you asking to be my girlfriend?"

"Well it is a bit early but since you asked so nicely, yes be my boyfriend for now." She then lays a kiss on me to curl my toes.

I have no thought that this is love but it sure is nice. "So Luna what are we going to do in our free time?" I thought kissing was the answer but with Luna the normal is not normal.

"I think we should find out why MadEye is not MadEye." Luna sighed.

"MadEye is not MadEye? Now I am sure the Nargals have got me, Harry Potter is doomed."

"His aura has changed since I last saw him as an Auror." I was sure Luna was doing this intentionally.

If I had not had tutors up my, err, nose, I would not have known what she was talking about.

"What do you mean, has his aura changed or what?" Luna was the star-gazer, I was just crazy.

"Yes he is MadEye but he isn't MadEye I just know." she crunched up her face like she was trying really hard to understand something. "His aura had changed since I last saw him."

While Luna was trying to figure him out I was sure that he was on my list of DO NOT TRUST!

/Scene Break/

With Luna being my girlfriend, whether I wanted it or not, I was surprised that all the girls in our group were more friendly and closer than before. I just passed it off as they now felt safer that I was not a predator on the prowl. Whoops, make that probably just another dumb boy but he is safer than before.

Snape was almost civil which confused me but his current mood was better than the original Snape. He was civil in that he wasn't dropping my vials of potion on the floor or issuing detention like Dumbledore sucks lemon drops. I need to ask Luna if his aura has changed.

The next weekend arrived so I headed off to Gringotts, "and the crisis this week is?" I asked Ragnok.

"Now Harry don't be surly that's Snape's job." Ragnok laughed at this own joke. "Here try this on."

The warm feeling seeped into me from the cloak, "YES! This is the real deal, thanks Ragnok."

"Just watch out Harry as he will probably know who now has the cloak. We had to threaten him with vault confiscation, death upon entry onto Goblin soil and a suit in the Wizengamot. I thought for a while he was still going to refuse and keep the cloak."

"So how does my cloak fit into this mess? He had a phony cloak so he could hide in any circumstance."

"I think he is doing like you, he wanted that particular cloak."

"Ok I give you that but isn't my job to face Voldemort? This is confusing, he has a specific reason keep that particular cloak and no other will work. I am out of the loop as to why but am up to neck most of the time." I always have a problem sorting out Dumbldore's manipulations.

/Scene Break/

So came the night of the Goblets drawing of the tournaments champions. How can I say this, the shit hit the fan in more ways than one. Why can't they leave me alone in my basement? I am supposed to make my own decisions and face the consequences. That is how life is supposed to work but with me everyone seems to have their little input into screwing up my life.

I and my friends were now in the Great Hall staring at the Goblet of Fire along with the Muckety-muck of the magical world. There sat at the extended Head Table was everyone from the Ministry of Magic to a couple of complete strangers. I rejoined the chatter at the table.

"Nice Goblet, it's already sent half a dozen students to the Hospital wing with beards." I joked.

"Well the Headmasters age line is working just like he said it would and it's keeping out anyone who is not seventeen." Hermione was showing her love of authority again.

"I have a hundred galleons to say someone under seventeen is selected champion and another hundred that I am somehow involved." I put a sack of galleons on the table. I was just in one of those moods. Snape was going to be making snide comments on how I missed out on being the hero or I figured Dumbledore or someone would make me the water boy for the tournament so Draco could take the mickey out of me. The twins snatched up the bag of galleons and started taking script of the fools who thought I was the fool. The twins were happy to jump in at their normal ten percent of the action.

During the meal I noticed the twins were offering odds and that Gryffindor was not the only table jumping in to bet. I was impressed that some of the teachers joined in the pool. I was especially impressed by Professor McGonagall who put down ten galleons that I was right. The twins could lose a lot of money by giving odds but I would bail them out in the end as I just wanted to make a statement.

The dinner was finally over and the Goblet lit and spit out the first name. I giggled into my hand as the Veela with the attitude was chosen. I actually thought she was looking more like a bird in her facial structure and definitely not pretty. Of course all the males at Hogwarts would argue that point with me to the bitter end, especially the drooling Ron Weasley.

The next was the Quittage star who looked like he was sucking on a lemon and never smilled. Krum did have half the girls in Hogwarts trying to attract his attention. That got me to thinking that if might be beneficial to have Luna as a girl friend or I might suddenly get a lot of female attention. The thought of my Hogwarts express compartment and all the girls there-in came to mind. Maybe I had best beware also?

Diggory was the joy of his house and the pretty boy of the other half of Hogwart's girls. To tell you the truth I thought he wasn't much in the looks department but I had the same opinion of myself when I looked in the mirror in the morning.

Then the twins hit the lottery as my name came out of the Goblet. At first I just sat there with my mouth open, then I got mad.

"Mr. Potter please join the other champions so…" I cut him off, "Sorry but I just remembered an appointment and will be back in about ten years or so." I got up and started to head for the doors of the Great Hall. I figured that I would have to deal with this but it was going to be on my terms. Come here, go there, do this, you shouldn't...no at this minute rebeltion was on my mind.

"This is a binding contract you must take part or you will lose you magic. Mr. Potter join the other champions in the troph room." You had to admit the Headmaster was persistent.

I half-way turned around and said, "Better a squib with money that a dead kid in your tournament." I was almost ready to turn to the door when I notice he was reaching for his wand.

He made a mistake and said, 'You will obey me!"

That delay allowed me to send wandless magic immediately and draw my wand second. I sent as many spell that I could think of at the pompas ass. One thing my tutors always stressed, don't think, react with spells. I am not sure what got him or what he blocked but with all the shields and spells cast an 'Expelliarmus' must have gotten through as Dumbledore's wand flew into my hand.

An enraged Dumbledore yelled, "Return my wand this second or face my wrath."

Not being overly sympathetic to him I just gave him the finger salute and headed to my common room to contemplate just how mad I was and if I would ever give him his wand back or just snap it and then return it. I had a though flash in and I almost laughed. I was glad that one particular tutor was not present or I would be in for extensive remedial training. My aim was not exactly on target as I think I hit the Minister next to Dumbledore with 'Petrificus totalus' and his red-headed assistant with an 'Impedimenta' then again maybe it wasn't poor spell casting.

"Harry! Harry James Potter you had best wait for me." Luna seemed odd as I had never seen her this mad especially at me. Normally she was calm and spaced out.

"Do you know what you have just done?" Oh great, Luna is now turning into a blond Hermione.

"I just pissed off the Headmaster and I say GREAT!"

"Oh Atropos he is a dense one." Luna growled.

Now it was my turn to get mad and I shot her a line to make her regret interfering, "What are you looking for a scoop for your fathers rag?"

Luna then scared me, with a look of determinations she told me, "First off my father is a phony father and if you keep being so dumb I may turn you over to my mother." That got me totally confused as I had understood that her mother was dead and the reason for Luna's oddness stemmed from that death.

I got out, "Err".

"You have just won the Deathstick or the Wand of Destiny and right now Dumbledore is plotting your death to get that wand back. You also have the ring of the Pervell's on your finger so you can now join the hunt for the cloak of invisibility."

"Err you mean this one?" I drew out the cloak and Luna fainted.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8– Meeting the inlaws

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Now I am in… a what…where…why me mode, AND I have a passed out girlfriend. I am not built to throw Luna over my shoulder and deliver her to her common room, nor mine, and the Hospital isn't going to work so I 'slid' with Luna to my basement. Things were just happening to fast and I needed some quite space to think. Luna was always good for some insight even if I couldn't understand it half the time . Tiki helped get Luna to a couch and some drinks before Tiki snapped her fingers and Luna came back to the here and now.

"Harry James Potter I'm going to kill you, err, that won't work. You do know that Beelzebub is going to have an Angle over this?"

"Luna I don't mean to insult you but what the hell are you babbling about?"

Luna looked up and said, "Mother he is never going to believe me!"

I figured Luna had just flipped out and to tell you the truth all of this had me wanting to join her when the basement lit up in a bright light, make that two bright lights.

Now you can talk about Veela and gorgeous females but this woman, who appeared, left them all in the dust. The other scared me to a point I almost soiled myself. His leathery wings and the scythe he was leaning on were impressive to the point of terror.

"You wouldn't like to return my items to me would you Harry Potter?"

"Harry just ignore him he just likes to scare people to death." Luna added. "AND don't give anyone or anything those items you hear! Not even a temporary loan!"

I just nodded as I am sure I am over my head in this discussion."

"My daughter Luna has been sent to the mortal world to see how mortals act and interact. I have been trying to undo what some idiots have done to our time line. While I am sorting out which god or goddess had been playing with my work your Dumbledore has been messing things up and now..." That much anger should never appear on such a gorgeous face. Wing man took over the conversation at that point.

"I also am upset with the loser you refer to as Voldemort as he has been cheating me and causing untold overcrowding in my realm." The scythe lit up about then.

"Luna darling, how did you get evolved in all this?"

"I'll explain later mother but I would like you to meet my boyfriend Harry Potter."

All this of course clearly explained why I had no idea what they all were talking about.

Luna jumped in just before I lost it, "Harry you are part of Fates plans to even out the flow of life and death and stabilize the time line. In the very near future we will accomplish this and then we will have a, how do you English put it, a jolly good time." That of course clarified everything?

I was about to ask questions and the basement was empty except for Luna and myself. Tike popped in stuttering and trembling. I scoped her up and sat her on my lap and while hugging her. I said in not to steady of a voice, "I know how you feel I cannot believe what was just here."

"AAre they gone Master?"

"I think so Tiki and I hope we won't have many guests like that in the future." Finally she calmed down and she brought everyone a stiff drink. From Tiki's gait she may have downed a butterbeer or two.

I looked at Luna and she started laughing, "So do you think I will let anyone hurt you?"

So started a long talk of who was who and what was going on in the insanity called the life of Harry Potter. How would you take it if your girlfriend said Fate was her mother.

/Scene Break/

One thing was going to happen. We were not going to go back to Hogwarts before the first task. Luna had inferred that the binding magical contact was debatable as it was a Dumbledore manipulation in the life of the Master of Death. I was not convinced but I got convinced about a week later.

It was a typical breakfast in my basement at #4 Privet Drive. Luna was on my lap adding to my forks delivery of food. Drac was lying over both our laps while snoring. Hedwig was eyeing some morsel of food or snatching some bacon or ham. Suddenly the alarm showing magical people in the area went off.

I 'slid' my family to the house across the street to see what was happening as I called Tiki to join us. There was Dumbledore, MadEye, Snape and four others that were most likely part of his Order of the Phoenix entering the house. Vernon was already screaming for the Freaks to get out of his house. I pulled out the cloak and we all disappeared. Luna and I had our arms round each others waist while Drac draped over Luna's shoulder. Hedwig was on my shoulder but grousing that the cloak was too heavy. Tiki had just faded as we couldn't see her any longer. I again slid to the side of the house. We peered into the window while Luna let a Weasley's extendable ear into the house to hear what was going on.

"I don't care who you are get out of this house or I will call the police."

"We wish to know if Harry Potter is here and…"

"He is probable down there but we don't want any part of him or you so get OUT!"

"I must ask you to calm down Mr. Dursley as we are here to see Harry Potter and not to inconvenience you in the least."

"You can have him as he is not welcome here. If you can find him make sure he never returns as this is not his home." Vernon raged but not many noticed that all the old wards and alarms fell that Dumbledore had erected those many years ago.

The great Albus Dumbledore took out his wand and Vernon panicked, "He's in the basement." Vernon pointed to the door but grabbed Petunia and Dudley and pushed them to the fount door, "You weirdo's can have the place we are not returning, the place is all yours." The family Dursley fled #4 Privet drive.

The great and magnificent Dumbledore waved his wand at the basement door and a specter laughing magically materialized. This set off curses from everyone only to have them rebound into them and the house itself. Plaster fell and the stairs caught on fire. The structure of the house groaned as the curses and spells flew at the illusionary specter. Taking a page from Voldemort's book 'confundo' curses flew from the door along with compulsion charms suggesting they all leave and jump into the Thames. Everyone fled as their entry to the basement was thwarted. The family Potter were laughing as they returned to the basement after putting out the fire.

/Scene Break/

"What screeched the baby Voltemort. You know where Harry Potter lives? Take the crew there and kill everyone. Potter and any one there Kill, Kill, Kill… DO YOU HEAR ME?"

So the attack on Privet drive began. Ten Deatheaters approached under cloaking charm in an attempt to catch everyone by surprise. Harry Potter was feared by the Dark Lord and no one wanted to face what Voldemort feared, although no one would admit that to Voldemort.

Their problems started when they secured the house and tried to enter the basement. The specter and its maniacal laugh was eerily like the Dark Lords but then things started to happen. Something was soaring around shooting lightning bolts and flames while another was flashing around producing ice spears. In the midst of all this snow, steam and lightning what appeared to be two kids appeared and those lucky enough to activate their portkeys lived to face the dark lord's wrath.

/Scene Break/

"Ragnok you have to see a memory I have. Even you would laugh your self silly."

"Well let's have a copy as the day so far has been boring and unprofitable."

"Not to worry, I need you to chase down the title of # 4 Privet drive and buy it. Then I need you to restore the property. By any chance are your people capable of illusionary magic on the entire property?"

"Yes we can."

"Fantastic, make the illusion of the place being haunted after all the restoration is completed. I also want some reactionary wards."

"That's going to cost Harry."

"Take the gold and make it a gruesome and eerie haunted house, oh and make it in the muggle files as a historical monument so it can't be torn down." Because it was in the middle of a muggle development things like the Fidelius Charm were unwise.

Kids that came to smoke or brought their girlfriends to the deserted house found ghouls and goblins. The ghouls were illusions but the goblins might have been real. Headless specters walked by windows and moans could be heard the minute someone magical stepped on the lawn. When Dumbledore and company returned they got hit with 'confundo' charms or the Goblin's equivalent. When they started a magical attack all that happened was the Ministry Aurors appeared to find out who was attacking the muggles.

There of course were people's shadows appearing to walk by windows…police were called for the empty house and the cops found nothing as the spells only affected magicals…neighbors knew the house was haunted… noises sometimes come from the place as if a party was in progress or people walking in but they never coming out, Privet drive had its own haunted house.

"So you think its best to return to Hogwarts and do the tournament?"

"Who knows what mother has in her plans. It's always best to go with the flow and not tempt Fate which is mother and her cronies."

"I guess the correct response is 'yes dear' so let's go."

The first day back at breakfast, Mr. Potter please see me in my office after breakfast."

McGonagall trudged along with myself and Luna to the Headmasters office.

"You do know the Headmaster will want his wand back?" stated Professor McGonagall.

"Sorry loser's weepers." Luna chanted.

"And may I ask why Miss Lovegood is accompanying us today?"

"Professor if I told you we would have to kill you. Actually it's a story that is unbelievable and on going. Dumbledore is interfering with people who are way more powerful than he thinks he is in his mind." That caused the professor to half stumble in her step as who could be more powerful then the Great Albus Dumbledore?

Our group had just walked into his office and as he pointed to the chairs if front of his desk he raised a wand and yelled, 'Expelliarmus'. My holly wand flew into his hand but the wand of destiny just stayed in my wand holster. Luna had already tried that trick to see what happened and as with her attempt Dumbledore's failed also. It appeared that the three items were destined to remain together now that they had been joined once again.

"ALBUS! Is that really necessary?" Professor McGonagall growled.

'Expelliarmus' yelled Dumbledore a second time. I flipped my new wand out and gave it a little curl and Dumbledore's beard attached itself to his forehead.

"See you later Headmaster your hairy problem has terminated any conversation you wished to have with me." We left his office with McGonagall snickering.

We think we heard her say, "Deserves the old coot" as we headed back to the Great Hall.

/Scene Break/

Somewhere a baby Voldemort was being burped after a fulfilling meal of snake milk and a potion mixture. The taste alone was enough to make someone kill and torture so it only added to his personality.

"I want Harry Potter here as soon as possible, portkey his ass to me or drag his useless ass by any means to me, hell kill him and drag his warm body here, DO YOU UNDERSTAND." Everyone there agreed and departed after Harry Potter.

/Scene Break/

"Yes Clotho, what do you wish to know?"

"Atropos, are any of the foe's after my daughters or my soon to be son-in-law due a snipping?"

"Clotho are you interfering in our timeline?"

"Not at all Lachesis, I'm just curious about my daughter and how things are playing out in the flow of things. There is also a good possibility that a lot of snipping is going to be happening today so its just curiosity."

Both the other workers of Clotho laughed at her as they themselves had been watching what was now the best game in town.

/Scene Break/

"What are you going to do for the first task? Are you sure you can do this you are not as old as the other champions? I think that I should go look in the library…"

"Yes Hermione you do the library search and I am fine so there is no need to worry."

"What are you going to do for the first task? Neville asked.

"Whatever I must is the only answer I have. Who knows what they have dreamed up."

"Didn't Ron tell you? Asked Hannah.

"Tell me what?"

"The twins told him to tell you what they found in the forbidden forest."

"Should I ask what they were doing in the forest or what they found?"

Hannah blushed and grabbed Neville and replied, "Ron was supposed to tell you the first task is to get by a dragon."

"Hay Drac! How's your influence on full-sized dragons?"

"I'll have you know I am well-known among the dragon population." Drac hissed .

Hedwig was clucking something that gave me the opinion that she said, "If they give you any problems I will freeze their bits off."

"Luna was mumbling about the bit grabbers doing something to the lower…of…when…"

So with my family happily contemplating the first task I retired to a corner and opened a book on advanced curses.

The first task was a walk in the park. We drew our dragon we got to fight from a bag presented some overweight guy who was from the gaming department. Once we found out which dragon we had the fun began because my family decided that I needed help.

I had a plan and executed it flawlessly. Before entering the arena I cast an odor elimination charm on my body. When I entered the arena I put on the cloak and 'slid' to the golden egg. After grabbing it I made a hasty 'slide' to the hospital tent. My family decided that Drac would talk the dragon to death while Hedwig tried a snow-job. The confused dragon was ready to give all its eggs to anyone by the time those two finished. That however was not the last of my insane families help.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9—The second task

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MadEye Moody I was watching based on Luna's statement that he was not him. All he ever did was grumble and take a swig from that hip flask of his. I could kick myself that I didn't tell my familiars so they were not aware of what Luna had said and could have kept on eye him also. We were all caught by surprise as I came out of the Gryffendor portrait . Just before Luna could exit Madeye cast a 'Avada Kedavra' at me. The curse hit me squarely in the chest and it hurt like hell. It seems the Master of Death was not easily killed and that extended to his live in tatoo Drac. While I was dragging myself off the floor with a million bits of pain my friends were having a beat up the bad guy day. Apparently MadEye got roasted downstairs and frozen upstairs by my now irate familiars. They then grabbed him and headed off. We found out later from Drac that they dumped him in the middle of the lake. No one knew he couldn't swim until the Mermen showed up with him a few hours later. The real Moody was found a couple of days later.

Beelzebub sent Drac and Hedwig a thank you package for their skills with Moody AKA Crouch Jr. That made Drac and Hedwig happy until they had a face to face growling match over who got the lizard pâté.

Draco was on par with Ron in trying to make my life miserable while the two other champions were apparently upset with me over my winning the first task. You would think that being seventeen or older they would not pick on short little me who is just fourteen. Victor Krum was just into giving me scowling looks and a growl when he passes me in the Great Hall. The Veela chick as Ron refers to her decided to approach me in the Great Hall and use her skills to embarrassing Harry Potter in pubic. I was sitting on the bench at the Gryffindor table with Luna when Fleur approached and said, "Harry darling I wish you to do me a small favor." That statement got a few people's attention.

About this time I feel a wave of something pass through me but it must have hit the other boys in the vicinity hard. Ron and Dean were already drooling. I did feel a bit fuzzy in the head but that was all.

"I wish you to fall to your knees and tell the world how much you adorex-moi."

Half the boys in the hall fell to their knees and it got noisy and loud with them all professing their undying love. First off I don't speak French and apparently she had let loose her Veela allure at full strength. Secondly it turned out to be a bad move on her part.

While I am trying to figure out what's going on Luna jumps up to stand on the bench and delivers an upper cut to Fleur's jaw. Fleur staggers backwards and falls on her bum. "Stay away from him you bitch." Luna was now mad and so was Fleur. Things started happening quickly.

I shook my head which helped clear the fuzz and saw Madam Maxine the head mistress of Bauxbatons and a half giant fling the table she was sitting at to the side and race at Fleur. She was not fast enough Fleur transformed and hurled a fire-ball at Luna.

Never say that Dumbledore was one to easily give up as he cast another 'Expelliarmus' at me expecting me to be off guard and get his wand back. Screaming joined the confusion as it's not everyday you see a Veela transform, the headmaster casting a curse, a charging half giants or fire balls being thrown around.

I added to the fun by erecting a shield to protect Luna and myself causing the fire-balls rebound around the Hall. Dumbledore was not as lucky as his 'Expelliarmus' spell had hit one of the fireballs and he was now trying to put out his robes which were on fire. His spell was partly a summoning spell and his attention after casting his spell was on receiving a wand and not a stray fire-ball. The half giant was now chasing the screeching chicken out the Great Hall's doors.

/Scene Break/

By now there was a crowd of entities that were watching the mortal's tournament considering that Clothos child was involved and Beelsabub was sending out gift packs. Bets were being made on everything from who was going to get killed to who was going to be first in the broom closet. Just about everyone had heard of the "plea request" from the light and dark realm so that added to the interest. Then again living forever did get a bit boring after a while. The time line was humming along so a little tickle would not bother the time line but one could obtain some elixir as a side bet for the entity that provided the right tickle.

So the second task rolled around. Hermione had broken the riddle of the golden egg and I couldn't swim a stroke. The rules said that I had to take part in the tasks so I decided on my course of action. Luna thought it was a capital idea but added a few ideas. Who was I to argue?

/Scene Break/

The evening before the second task there was a revolt in the Headmasters office. "I most certainty will not!" Professor Flitwick yelled.

"Filius you are the head of Ravenclaw…" Dumbledore was cut off, "NO! I will not kidnap a student from my house for your tournament. AND I will not sneak into the girl's dorm in the middle of the night. I am male if you hadn't noticed."

"Minerva?"

"I am in agreement with Filius on this. If you had asked her to participate and she agreed that is one thing but to take her, NO!"

"Very well you two are dismissed."

"Severus?"

"I am willing to help but not sneaking into girl's dorms to kidnap them."

"This is not kidnapping this is a school project and I need a particular student to participate." What Dumbledore didn't say was that Harry's girl friend might be delayed in returning if a certain wand wasn't returned.

"Professor Vector?"

"All right Albus but I will not take responsibility for the outcome."

Several vials of elixir were passed to new owners along with a vile from the fountain of youth. Betting was ongoing and heated.

"You're sure you want to do this Luna?"

"Of course, I suggested it. I just need to feel safe and secure tonight and you are elected."

We snuck up to the dorm with Luna under the invisibility cloak. She wanted to spend the night with me. While possible there wasn't much chance of hanky-panky at our age. So with a silencing charm and sealing the curtains shut we snuggled in for a nights sleep. We had put enough wards, charms and curses on Luna's bed so that was not a worry.

/Scene Break/

"Severus we are doing the right thing aren't we?"

"All you have to do is get her downstairs and we will escort her to the Headmaster's office. It's his spells that will put her in a state so she can spend the night in the lake. He insists it's perfectly safe and by tomorrow afternoon Potter will be bragging over how he saved the day."

The entrance to the Ravenclaw house opened to Septima Vector as it would for any teacher. Snape waited in the common room and Septima went for Luna's bed. The betting had heavy odds on Septima would get the 'confundus' charm but would get Luna down to Snape. However someone nudged the odds and tickled the charms.

The first sign that the kidnapping had gone wrong was when Snape heard screams and shrieks from the stairs leading to the girl's dorm. Soon the entire House was up and chasing a swine that seemed confused and frightened. Snape summoned the Headmaster.

The time line tickler received many a vile of elixir and was smugly patting itself on the back thinking, "The gods were known for changing men into swine".

Harry and Luna never heard the professors that entered Harry's dorm that night nor hear them when they left. After what happened to Vector and the problems when Dumbledore finally got the wards down around Luna's bed, well no one wanted to mess with Harry's bed just in case.

/Scene Break/

The stands were set on the shore line and a pier was constructed along the waters edge. The pier only stood a foot over the water so the contestants could get out of the frigid lake without much trouble. No one paid much attention to anyone wearing school robes nor did they notice the heat coming off the water on the right side of the pier. The area was about the size of a house, the water was heated to a comfortable swimming temperature.

The four champions lined up on the dock. Three were in their swim suits already to go while Harry remained in his robes. When the start gun went off the three dove into the water, it was then that Harry dropped his robe. In addition to Harry's swim suit he had a kiddie float ring around his waist that had a horse head. Harry leaped into the water on the right side of the pier. Out of no where it seemed a group of students also wearing kiddie rings with an assortment of animals leaped in to join Harry. Dumbledore wasted no time in retrieving Harry's robe. in his frantic search he found no wand.

"Harry why are you not trying to rescue that which you will sorely miss, you only have an hour." Dumbledore shouted.

"Oh! I'm done, I can't swim a lick and with out my floater I would sink like a rock." Luna then started a splashing war.

The hour fled for three of the four champions in their rush to save what they would solely miss. The fourth champion finally gave up and pulled on his robe and sat on the pier awaiting the winners. Luna joined him and asked, "What do you think they put down there?"

"Nothing that's important, the important thing to me is you so I am happy."

Diggory brought his girlfriend Choe in first. Fleur had to be rescued and Krum rescued Hermione. All the hostages were given blankets and pepper-upper potion. Dumbledore went over and gave them a mini speech on how everyone did great and would be remembered, bla, bla, bla. He was not ready for Hermione's who adored and respected people in authority. Hermione stood up and kicked the Headmaster in his family jewels and went on a verbal tirade over being kidnaped. The Headmaster clutched low and fell backwards into the fidget lake. Apparently Hermione was not asked if she wanted to participate in the tournament.

If the old fart wasn't floundering around in the lake I would have given him something to remember me by as a Merman brought up my now worthless waterlogged broom.

/Scene Break/

It never ends was my thought. Luna and I had just finished lunch and as we were leaving the Great Hall, "Hay Potty where's the mudblood or have you got Looney doing all the tricks for you on the side?"

I hope he wanted to make me mad because he did. I turned around and saw Draco was trying a Snape sneer. His two butt boys cracking their knuckles on either side of him gave out an air of intimidation. I gave him my best right cross to his nose. As Draco fell I pushed my hands out to his boys and thought, 'Incarcerous', both were wrapped up as I gave each a little push and watched them fall on Draco and his bleeding nose.

"Detention Potter!" Snape yelled.

"Of course Professor I would not think less of you."

"This weekend Potter starting at eight in the morning."

"Why thank you Professor for making my weekend more enjoyable."

"AND thirty points from Gryffindor for lip."

"Even more reasons to increase my enjoyment, thank you Professor." Snape went ballistic and reached for his wand.

"SEVERUS!" yelled the Headmaster. Snape continued to draw his wand. Just before I was going to act…'Impedimenta' was yelled by the Headmaster and Snape slowed down. The Headmaster walked over and took the wand from Snape's slow moving hand.

"I see your new wand is working out well for you Headmaster. Oh! And explain to Snape that if I am forced to attend these detentions he will be seeing the Board of Governors."

"That is beneath you Harry."

"No, Draco Malfoy is beneath me and maybe he could use Snape's detentions for starting all this."

"Surely a few words should not cause all this violence."

I looked down at Draco and said, "No more Mr. nice guy Draco, next time it gets nastier."

I held out my arm for Luna and we left the hall. "Harry where are the Hollows?

"Thanks for reminding me I need to get them from the safe in our basement now that the second task is done." Luna just nodded. I wasn't sure if someone stole one or all three if I lost ownership and with that prophecy hanging around I didn't need that.

The weekend arrived and Luna and I grabbed a carriage to HogsmeadeVillage. Being a suave man about town I dragged Luna to HoneyDukes for her choice of sugar. I then made a mistake and asked Luna what she wanted. "I think it's about time for a ring don't you? You have gotten better as boyfriend so we need to upgrade our status."

I thought, only Luna!" We took the 'floe' to Gringotts and she got to pick out a ring of her choice. My family vault had a section that would make a jewelry shop drool. She was no piker as she had selected one that had several diamonds. The center diamond could blind you if the light hit it properly. We took the 'floe' to The Three Broomsticks and had lunch.

"So my dear what is our new status called?" I was joking around but Luna apparently wasn't.

"The ring is too big for a promise ring so I guess an engagement ring would be right."

"So should I have the Goblins make up a betrothal contract?" I was half joking as I felt betrothal contracts were all dumb pure-blood garbage. In my life I really didn't think I could do without my Luna.

"Yes that is going to work!" She looked off into the distance and then added, "Best have them make a draft for marriage at the legal age. Have them send it to us for any changes we need to make."

I didn't have any thoughts other than I hope her parents agree as we walked by the Cauldron Shop. Then the nasty thoughts hit me, could I perform adequately at the age of fourteen? I think I was in a semi daze as the next thing that brought me to the here and present was Luna saying, "I think we have a problem."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10—Meeting the parent

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"Hay Potter ready for an ass kicking?" Draco was in the lead of a small mob. He not only had Crab and Goyle but also Nott, Avery Jr. and four seven-year students who I didn't know by name. I'm good but not that good someone was going to get hurt and Luna and I were going to be part of that no matter how good we were.

"Oh! POO! You are trying to ruin our day" Luna pouted as I was getting ready to grab Luna and 'slide' and face them another day. Luna claps her hands and shit happened.

I think it was a wind storm or maybe in Luna's case a wind monster but it grabbed all of them and left.

"Ah, Luna…what did you do?"

"Poo, you were not supposed to see that for a while yet. So you didn't see anything right? We can blame it on the Nargals."

I did ask but Luna wasn't explaining with rational talk. I had been around her for too long and when she started talking about Nargals or Snorkstacks she was avoiding the conversation. She was not crazy she was just cunning as hell and used that double talk to end the conversation.

Upon returning to Hogwarts, "Mr. Potter the Headmaster wants to see you and Miss Lovegood." Professor McGonagall informed us.

"Harry and Miss Lovegood we have received some very disturbing news from Madam Pomfrey that nine students have been attacked. Half have been transferred to St Mungo. Mr. Malfoy accuses you Mr. Potter of an unprovoked attack."

"Oh no Headmaster I'm afraid my friends did all the damage." Luna started…

"Who is that Miss Lovegood?"

"Draco and his friends tried to attack Harry and me but Harry was full of Nargals at the time and one of them called the Humbuggers for help and that enraged the Afidorks. When the Humbuggers and the Afidorks started fighting Draco and his friends were in the middle and I am afraid they were no match in fighting on two fronts." Dumbledore was stupid enough to ask I chuckled to myself.

Dumbledore just smiled and said, "Let's get to the bottom of this, let me see both your wands."

"Sorry boss but only the DMLE may do a prior spell on a wand without the owner's consent. We don't consent but please call Madam Bones to check the wands I'm sure she will enjoy the history of my wand as she checks."

"Harry this has been done here at Hogwarts for as long as I can remember."

"Well maybe its time you checked the law Chief Warlock. Is that all or are you calling Madam Bones?" We left.

Finally it was June and the end of year feast. All I could say was good riddance for awhile. More dreams on my part as reality kept rearing its head.

"So Luna what are you planning for this summer? Your father back from his hunt of creachers?"

"I'm going home with you silly."

Well that was nice. So we began to make plans to get to our basement. We were not under any illusions. There was a good chance that there was someone who would try and do something between the platform and our basement. It was fun watching.

The compartment filled with all the regulars. With Draco in the Hospital with several smashed bones the ride was quiet. Ron did stop by but stuck his nose in the air and left. We had a good laugh over him one day falling for and marrying a Slytherin.

As the train unloaded Tiki had our trunks and we sat in the compartment under the invisibility cloak. We saw several people on the platform that could have only one reason for being their, me. We recognized Snape, Moody and Kingsley but we were sure there were more before we 'slid' to the basement.

The house was ours and not just the basement. All the utilities were on including cable TV, the bills were automatically paid by the Goblin's muggle subsidiary banks. This only added to the legend of the haunted house with lights and noises from an empty house.

Luna and I did stroll outside periodically to see who was watching the house. Under the invisibility cloak we learned some of the names of the Order of the Phoenix. Hesta Jones was with MadEye one day when he sensed something and tried to summon the cloak that could not be summoned. Emmeline Vance and Elphias Doge got in an argument over who was to relieve who and that's how we learned their names. Doge almost got arrested because a neighbor called in that a creep was stocking the neighborhood in a woman's dress. The bobby got 'Obliviated'. Other calls happened during the summer and when they came they got 'Obliviated' by the watching Order Member. This was not going unnoticed as there were side effects to that spell.

/Scene Break/

"So Nymphadora is there anything new at Privet Drive or Harry?"

"Nothing Sir the only thing new is a scruffy mutt has taken up residence in and around the house"

"So nothing from the rest of the Order stationed there?"

"No Sir just dull duty watching an empty house. We never see them enter or leave and so its impossible to catch them or follow someone thats not there. I just can't figure how they do their disappearing act. When we spot them in Diagon alley they turn a corner and disappear on us"

"Just keep up the good work; we must keep Harry safe he is our only hope for when Voldemort comes back."

/Scene Break/

Sirius Black had escaped Azkaban and now had snuck up on and into the house on Privet Drive. The neighbors had been gossiping over the deserted and haunted house but the grim-looking dog could smell his god son and a female somewhere around the house. So that night he slipped past the guards in his animagus form. Once at the door he had transformed back into his fantastic self and entered the house. While he though it was odd that the door was not locked. He was a Maurader and the best at stealth and hiding the great Padfoot seldom go caught at Hogwarts during his illustrious career as a prankster. The place looked like a derelict house from the outside while inside it was too dark to see more that shapes of furniture. The moonlight that filtered in through dirty windows left him confused. Where was the broken furniture and where those fresh flowers at the table? Two steps latter he was caught in a trap and unable to move or shift back to his dog form. That is how he was found a few minutes later as the lights came on.

"And who may we ask are you?" His godson asked and all Sirius Black could do was expect Harry to take the mickey out of him like forever.

"You are my godson and I wanted to visit you…why are you laughing…stop that!"

His godson looked like his best mate James. The kid left laughing leaving a pretty girl giving him a weird stare. She was odd with her wand stuck in her hair with butterbeer necklace and humming an odd tune. "The Nargas told us you were here, did you have to sneak past the bumdumbers?"

Harry came back and told me to read the letter he has put in my hand. He then says "Release alpha 1, Pixie dance" He draws his wand and points to the letter as the trap falls away. The letter is from James to Harry and it says among many things that Wormtail was the secrets keeper. Harry Potter knows I am innocent.

/Scene Break/

"So my love what do we have on the fire for today?" So far our vacation had been quiet.

"Why don't we go talk to your parents, I'm sure they would like to hear from you."

"Luna my parents are dead, I have no idea where they are buried and to tell the truth if I met them on the street they would be perfect strangers."

"Harry that's all the more reason to visit them." So Luna took me to Godric's Hollow Cemetery just off the Town Square. How she knew was another Luna experience in the making.

So here I am standing in front of two graves of complete strangers. I am talking to the graves to make Luna happy more than anything else. The two spirits that came out of their graves were indeed my parents. If I was normal and not seen ghosts at Hogwarts I am sure I would still be running. Unfortunately I had not much to say and their warning that Deatheaters were headed towards us ended the meeting almost before it started. I 'slid' Luna home.

"I think we have a problem Harry."

"You mean a couple of problems don't you dear."

"No I mean that Deatheaters watching for you at you parent's grave could mean Voldemort is ready to come back."

"Of course and what do we do now about all this?"

"Oh that's easy silly you were born in July and I in August so let's get married late August." I just smiled as that made perfect sense.

/Scene Break/

I really had fallen for this wacky crazy girl so I let her proceed only answering questions as to what color the roses should be, I deferred to her choice. Luna said that it would be better to have a private wedding with as little people as possible. Why should I argue this was her big day and I got her in the deal. I had no one that had to be at my wedding except Sirius but that was too dangerous even as a dog he was vulnerable so he was not going. To this day I am happy that we secured him in the house when we left. Because we left reality behind.

So after some fittings at a special shop we had out wedding clothes which resembled togas more that robes or muggle attire. Then in late August the day arrived and we got what seemed to be a portkey to what I thought would be Luna, me and a preacher, wrong.

I am glad I never insisted on a best dog or anything human to attend from my side. Luna however had many guests but few were human. While the two Centaurs were close to human the Pixies and Fairies were everywhere. I spied a couple of wood Nymphs and gnomes. I hoped Ragnok was not going to be upset because there were a couple of goblins decked out to the nines. There was Luna's mother and with two other stunning women. One of the women pointed out a Blibbering Humdinger and a Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Off in the corner were a couple of beings one of which was Beelzebub. His discussion with me was mostly how happy he was that he was getting Riddle pieces. Drac popped out about the time Hedwig showed up and I was beginning to believe I was asleep somewhere. That's when the ghosts or spirits floated in, two of which were waving, my parents. Luna pointed out a few people I never heard of, Baldur, Loki, Hel, and Freyr. Then we approached the minister, Zeus, him I had heard of.

We said our "I do's" and one side of the world opened up to a huge banquet hall with live music from the skeleton band for guests and a dance floor. Then it really got weird as entities came and congratulated us, at least that's what I though they were saying. Luna made me do the wedding dance and we finally got to fade from the spotlight. It seemed that a lot of the entities there were there to be seen and acknowledged. Then there was my parents. I hoped I gave them a good impression as we did talk. Then Luna and I disappeared to the basement for a pizza and Pepsi and about a million questions from me. I'm not sure I got a lot of answers that made sense but I was happily diverted to other areas. We did let an irate Sirius out who was still ranting over us being too young and how could we lock him up. We locked him out of the basement that night.

"I do hope he settles down before Dumbledore's guards call in the ghost busters." I chuckled at my joke.

"You know he will not believe our memories of the wedding."

"Luna I am not crazy enough to show him, I do not completely believe who I met tonight."

"He will settle down after he kicks a few chairs or so."

"Luna have you forgot our furniture upstairs kick back?" Luna started giggling and then so did I.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11—The third task

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We were married but our wedding night was a nice snuggles and peaceful sleep. We would let nature take its hormonal course whenever as we were to young right now.

The next morning we got our Hogwarts letters from Tiki and headed to Gringotts for galleons and Diagon alley for a bit of school shopping.

"Harry and Lady Potter nice to see you here at Gringotts." Ragnok was cheerful today.

"Ragnok I'm sorry I didn't give you an invite to the wedding but…"

"Not to worry Harry, you and I are to low in the feeding chain to be invited to such a big bash. Our king and his wife were overjoyed to receive an invite. If I had shown I would most likely be dragon food this morning you as the groom had to be there." It didn't sound like he knew much beyond that it was a very private wedding.

"Well I guess what we need is some paperwork so everyone knows we are married."

"We have already taken care of everything, the Ministry has been notified and Hogwarts had been directed to provide you with married quarters."

While I was still in semi shock Luna just floated along as if it was a normal everyday affair. Everyone seemed to know as Madam Malkin's had the Potter crest ready for our new robes even the stationery shop had parchment ready with the Potter crest. When we arrived at Flourish & Blott's Hermione squealed and gave Luna the Hermione hug. I was relieved that Luna could still breathe after Hermione was finished. When we passed the Weasley clan we did notice the death glares from Molly, Ron and Ginny. What we missed was the headlines that still bantered the escape from Azkaban of Sirius Black. While Luna and I rated a mention it was that we got married and no details. I was wondering how much of the world were not self initiated but directed.

/Scene Break/

We boarded the train and our expanded compartment filled up quickly. Girls and girl talk over Luna being married was the topic. Rings and outfits were discussed but who was there or where it was held seemed a non topic. Finally the train got rolling and to our disappointment Draco showed up. "Got married did you Potter, how stupid. Going to have little half-blood monster popping out soon?"

I had enough!

Draco suddenly found his obnoxious mouth gone. Well if he couldn't talk he couldn't spew his... he waved and pointed for Crab and Goyle to attack so I sent a mild 'confringo' at them. The spell threw them backward to crash into the far wall and slumber land. Rumor said St Mungo had a devil of a time fixing Draco's new problem.

Another hour into the ride to Hogwarts the train stopped so the Dementors could board. That was extremely nice of the conductor to pick up hitchhikers.

I somehow knew that we had Dementors on the train so I slid open the compartment door and stood in the corridor ready to exercise the Deathstick. A number of Dementors were coming down the corridor but suddenly stopped and an ungodly shriek came from them and they left as if the hounds of hell were chasing them.

"Harry it's not nice to scare the Dementors like that." Luna giggled.

Again I replied intelligently, "Huh?"

"You're the master of death, who would not be afraid of you? You are not Beelzebub master but you can control death around you." That made things clear a mud. I needed to have a talk with Luna about all this.

Being a champion I was not required to attend class but I tagged around with Luna as she attended classes. We had our good and bad classes. Snape was always a bad class and we were never sure if he would be sent to harm us from Voldemort or Dumbledore. We were sure if Voldemort or Dumbledore said to give us a big kiss that Snape would have the Draught of Living death on his lips. I wondered if being the master of death I could...naw I was not that...but it is a nice thought.

Luna was something else in the Care of Magical Creatures class. Hagrid could have flobberworms on display but Luna would be off in a corner talking to a fairy or two while some pixies would be playing with her hair. There of course were always a few birds around her which included Hedwig and the creature of the day that came from the forest to sit in the class.

While I was working on spells and curses a lot I had come up with a hobby of sorts. With all the cutting and blasting curses I had cleared a small area in the Forbidden forest. Professor Sprout wouldn't let me have any space in her precious greenhouses but I had the forest. Magic was for what we could do with it and I had Drac. So a few wards for heat and to keep out all the vegetable eaters I had my own garden. Drac was the fertilizer man as they said Dragon dung was the best for growing. Hedwig also helped out. I had done some weed pulling and pruning for my fabulous aunt and uncle so I liked puttering around. While I had some tomatoes and such I started playing around and not like Neville and Sprout did with devil snare and fanged petunias. I thought it would be nice to have a cantaloupe tree or a fruit bush so I experimented and darn if some of it actually worked. Then I got a real surprise. When you start messing around making hybrids plants they won't reproduce. I got real seeds that duplicated my hybrid plants exactly. While Luna loved my fruit she kept insisting I grow a tree with pudding pods. I'm working on it.

Putting off the worst for last it came finally to the third task a stupid maze. Our study group had our last meeting before I had to go in and compete. I had more than enough advice.

"You know they are going to put all kinds of traps in that maze." Daphne smiled while the rest of the study group groaned. Daphne was just a little sarcastic.

"I wonder what else they will have in there." Hermione was curious and had already drug out books on previous tournaments.

"Most likely some of Hagrid's cute pets." Tracey giggled.

"Morgana he had that dragon in his hut you don't think he has another stashed away do you?" Susan cringed.

"No but I'm sure he has something in there you can pet Harry." Hannah cooed as she moved closer to Neville who only added, "Better you than me Mate."

"Yes I imagine the maze will be full of screaming mandrake and devil snare like your greenhouse." I chuckled.

"Speaking of greenhouses, where are you getting all those cantaloupes they are not in season yet you bring them in by the bucket load." Neville asked.

Sprout and Neville had been curious beyond belief and after planting one of the seeds and got a tree they were after me like crazy. Their first batch of melons should be about due. I already had the Goblins do a patent on those and a few other hybrids I had developed. Most likely it would be making me a few galleons in a few months.

/Scene Break/

"Wormtail!"

"Yes Master"

"Since my most loyal servant was dispatched I want you to prepare for ritual as we planed. I want you to invite Malfoy and Nott Sr. to the ritual. You will do this and then attend the task. Make a portkey of everything in that maze if you have to but bring Potter here, do you understand?"

"Yes Master it shall be done."

"You had better you sniveling pile of rat shit." Voldemort was noted for treating his followers with respect and rewarded faithfully service.

/Scene Break/

Wormtail knew he was not the sharpest tool but he could do something quite well. Making portkeys was one of those gifts. Also he was a sneaky rat and that kept him alive around the Deatheaters and the Dark Lord. He also had mobility. Wormtail could squeeze through a crack or under a door so a thicket maze was not going to slow him down. Wormtail then set up his cages at two locations and then waited for the task to begin.

/Scene Break/

The crowd was betting very intensely, many vials were to be made for the right bets. Clotho's daughter's husband was up against other mortals. Would Clotho interfere or help? Who would win and who would lose. The betting grew fiercer.

/Scene Break/

The cannon roared and Krum entered the maze, he had the highest score so far in the tournament. He had just stumbled in when his eye caught the glimmer of gold. He grabbed the galleon that lay on the ground and found himself in a cage in a dark room. When he finally broke out he would find himself in London and out of the contest.

The cannon roared and Diggory entered the maze. Being the upstanding young lad that he was... he would rue that trait in a few minutes. He heard the cannon announcing that Fleur was now in the running. Shortly another cannon blast announced the Potter was in the running. The scream of a female that he knew had to be a damsel in distress caused him to backtrack. He found Fleur on the ground. Looking around he found nothing so he touched her to turn her over and they both disappeared to a cage in Livermore. Unfortunately it was days before Fleur let him out of the cage. How unfortunate is how you looked at it.

/Scene Break/

I am finding this just a bit too easy. The Boggart was not a problem but the arrow with the word Sphinx written underneath I did take as a warning. A bad feeling just hung over the maze as far as I was concerned. The Blast-Ended-Skrewt will no longer bother anyone as it is jelly and it armor plating in pieces thanks to the deathstick. Then there was no doubt that things were bad when an arrow pinned to the hedge had "Acromantula" written on it. That's when the invisibility cloak went on and I invoked the stealth mode.

Arriving at the tri-wizard cup I was sure it was at trap but I am dumb and foolish and just had to see what was going to happen. I used a few detection spell and found that it wasn't a bomb but was a portkey.

The portkey aka tri-wizard cup clanged against the far bars of the cage that I fell into. I never did well with wizard travel. As I fell several stunners flew over my prone body. With my cloak being on and being invisible cause some confusion to the attackers. That gave me time to look around as I lay in the cage. There was a large cauldron bubbling in a graveyard. Two Deatheaters had wands pointed at my cage. Then there came a discussing looking person carrying a even more discussing looking baby monstrosity.

"Wormtail where is he?" squeaked the baby thing. I had now 'slid' out of the cage and off to the side.

Enough I thought, "Confringo, Diffindo, Reducto, tela argenti" and anything else I could think of I threw at the four, I cast as fast as I could.

Malfoy's head fell to the ground, Nott's exploded, and the cauldron took off rolling down the hill as I missed the two discussing beings. Well maybe they got a shield up as I wasn't just standing around as I threw the curses. The contingency of Aurors that showed up seconds later almost got terminated. That's when I got some stress relief as they opened up on me, the guy who was stupid and removed his cloak.

The next group of six that arrived were more into talking. That's when Madam Bones the head of DMLE was called and I spent a while answering questions and making official statements. While the first group of Aurors were revived. I had during this time being interviewed I had levitated the cup around where ever they wanted me to go. Dumbledore showed up and started his repertoire as Chief Warlock and wanted my wand.

"Mr. Dumbledore, here, take the cup as it belongs to the school and levitated it into his hands. The portkey activated and sent him back to Hogwarts. Madam Bones was giggling.

"We are done here Harry and thank you for your time. You may want to find a way out before Albus returns." She may have been surprised when I disappeared; I hope Dumbledore was when he got back.

I of course 'slid' to the school and Luna. Mad wives are not fun. I got a load of kisses and hugs so it made it all better.

So in the Great Hall I told the story, "and then the two creepy creeps 'apperated' away.

"Who do you think they where." Hermione queried.

"Not the foggiest Hermione I just hope I don't run into them anytime soon as they are so ugly they would ruin anyone's appetite."

Again not being the Einstein of Hogwarts I missed the looks on half of Slytherin house and a handful of others in different houses. They knew that morning that it had to do with the Dark Lord. Not much later the Dailey Profit arrived with the headlines,

"BOY WHO LIVE DECAPITATES LEADING CITIZEN"

"Way to go Harry you got Malfoy!" Ron shouted in the Great Hall.

"Don't forget he got Nott also" yelled Dean Thomas.

Gryffindor should be renamed the house of the stupid. About that time half of House Slytherin stood up and left the hall.

"You best watch your back Harry." Daphne stated as she slid in next to me. We were also joined by Tracey and Zabini.

"Daphne is right, Malfoy is a boob but he has to do something to you, it's like pureblood oath or something." Tracey said before she chomped into a chicken leg.

Silence hit the immediate area as Luna made a statement, "You best tell those in the Slytherin house that messing with Harry is messing with death himself. Their end will come, even faster if they try for revenge." Whether it was the words or the sane way Luna delivered it was debatable.

Even though I had only said I was attacked and not by whom, the kook at the Dailey Profit started attacks on me in the paper. She declared that my rumors of Deatheater activity and the return of the Dark Lord all a hoax.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – Privet Drive under attack

.

We had just finished our homework and was excited about heading off on summer break. Luna and I were out of the library and headed towards our quarters when, 'Avada Kedavra' sounded in the corridor. I pushed Luna off to the left and spun around for some dumb reason and got hit in the chest by the curse. Damn thing hurt like hell as I picked myself up off the floor.

Luna had plastered Draco against the far wall with some kind of sticking charm. Draco was stuck where the only thing he could do was blink and breathe.

Apparently that curse set off wards at the school and Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore came running.

"Oh good lord" McGonagall gasped.

"Professor McGonagall please notify the proper people as that curse is Azkaban time if used against another human." I was just able to say that when good old Albus jumps in, "Now I'm sure that is not necessary, there is probably a simple explanation for this misunderstanding."

Dumbledore was having difficulty removing Draco from the wall. This made me very proud of Luna's spell casting or power the heavens provided. Meanwhile Professor McGonagall fire called and the Aurors arrived.

"If you check his wand you will find he used an unforgivable curse…" I was over talked by Dumbledore, "This is a misunderstanding that is to be handled by the school and had nothing to do with the ministry."

I was totally in the land of disbelief, "You are not serious, you're going to turn loose a person who is throwing deadly curses down the halls? "

"As I said Mr. Potter that this is a misunderstanding and I will handle this in my own way." The Aurors just stood there looking stupid.

"We Mr. Bleeding heart you keep Voldemort's stooge but you have lost me. This place is not safe for me so I will leave, don't expect me back."

"That is not your choice as you are required to complete school. You outburst is childish."

"Professor McGonagall please send a copy of my school transcripts to the Goblins as I am out of here."

Luna spoke up about then, "Send a copy of mine also, were Harry goes I go." She hooked her arm with mine. I couldn't think of anything else to say so I 'slid' us to Gringotts.

After a quick explanation to Ragnok and picking up a trunk full of pounds, Luna and I 'slid' to Privet Drive. Ragnok was going to provide us with three phony passports. Where we were going I hadn't the foggiest.

/Scene Break/

"That's the story Sirius so you can come with us, stay or run but know we are going to have company very soon."

Tiki had just gotten back with our Hogwarts trunks and was part of our explanation. Sirius and Tiki decided that we would leave England and head to America with us. Nobody was happy with this decision but what else could we do?

We did what we could and started planning. Our first problem was how to get out of England. Even leaving by Heathrow airport left a trail. 'Apperating' or 'sliding' over all that open water to France was too dangerous to try.

Hedwig flew in a number of days later with our passports so we got going and booked our travel. We were packed and ready when the proximity alarm went off notifying us that a magical was in the area. Dumbledore had brought the whole Order of the Phoenix crew. I wonder where he left his brains. With the deathstick I could wipe out the whole group like deader than dead so why be so bold. Privet dr. was not on acres of rolling grounds the next door neighbor could throw a rock and hit our house. Then there was the restriction on muggles seeing magic. What Dumbledore thought he was doing wasn't going to workout very well.

Sirius reported that anti 'portkey' and 'apperation' wards had been cast like that would stop me or Tiki. They then started getting into trouble. They found the front door locked so they tried brute force and got sprayed with paint and a skunk smelling deodorant They then blasted the door from it hinges and rushed in only to be attacked by the furniture. After the furniture was blasted and their members pulled from the quicksand traps the wards started the illusions and maniacal laughter. The Order retaliated with curses blowing holes in the walls which sent 'confundus' charms flying about from the wards. That's when the fun started some of the Twins more destructive fireworks lit off inside the house.

This friendly visit was not being missed by the neighbors on Privet drive. Emergency services were receiving terrified calls of a terrorist attack at #4. Emergency services sent out armed bobby's, ambulances and notified the Prime Minister who dispatched a squad of Special Forces. Alarms were screaming at the Ministry of Magic and every available Auror was dispatched to #4 Privet Drive.

Tiki took Sirius and I took Luna and we went to Gringotts there was no telling what might send next or by whom.

All the different groups met at Privet drive and since everyone was in charge they basically ignored the other interlopers orders to surrender. This caused a massive shoot out with curses and spells flying in and out of the house. Firework explosions did not calm the Special Forces personal and the order to shoot aggressors was given. MadEye was especially destructive and blasted large holes in the walls while the twin's fireworks were taking care of all the windows and flammables. With so many openings the fireworks started to escape onto the front and back lawns and to the neighbors houses. When everything settled down the all had a mess on their hands and a ton of injured people. They had muggles to oblivate, news photographers to find and the confiscation of their photos. The wounded were carted off and the two ministers then began their fighting although it was verbal.

"Ragnok you have Privet Drive when the idiots leave. The muggles are all going to be 'obliviated' so they won't know what time it is for a day or two. Put up a 'Fidelus'charm on #4 and have the house repaired."

"Consider it done and Lord Black we have your paperwork completed dissolving the Malfoy marriage and restoring Narcisus to the Black family. Do you wish to also allow her offspring to take the name Black?"

"Hell no let the little shit stay a Malfoy or a no name."

"So Harry what are your plans while we restore your house?"

"We are heading to America and schooling there but first we are going to take a short vacation in France."

"Well keep in touch, you and your wife has made our lives here at Gringotts quite interesting. I hope you can return at some time in the future"

"Luna entered the conversation, "Never fear Master Ragnok we will be back in England in the very near future.'

/Scene Break/

Knowing the magical's they never got a hint of what was going on as Sirius rented a car. We drove to Portsmouth and boarded a ferry to Caen where we dumped the car and headed to Paris. Hedwig and Drac enjoyed the ride and with a notice-me-not charm, everything looked and went normal.

"Enough of Paris were do you suggest next, I wouldn't mind a little seaside getaway for some swimming." I was not much into nightclubbing and you could only do so much sightseeing.

"I agree whole heartedly sun, the sea, and some Nackganles to watch."

"Well there is Cap d'Agde right on the Mediterranean." Sirius smiled.

"So what are we waiting for?" I was ready for a little sun and sea.

"We need to go shopping. What are we going to need, clothing, tent, suntan oil?" Luna asked.

"We can leave right now they will have everything we need." Sirius was still smiling which was never a good sign.

/Scene Break/

The place was fantastic and somehow we got a tent and a plot when the normal European had to make reservations up to two years in advanced. The beach was sand and more sand while the Mediterranean gently lapped on the shore. Sirius was correct when he said we had all we needed.

"Eep" was my first utterance when I hit the beach. "Sirius I am going to kill you."

"Oh isn't it just smoogly!" as Luna started shedding the little clothes she was wearing. The place was totally clothing optional. There wasn't a piece of clothing as far as you could see. AND I was seeing more of Luna then ever and I was sleeping in the same bed with her.

Sirius was strutting around the beach and was hitting on anything female that was unaccompanied. I spent a lot of time watching Luna jiggle err run to the sea. I also spent a lot of time in the water and trying to think Snape, Snape in boxers, Snape and Fudge in boxers. Sirius kept up the ribbing and Luna hugged me in consolation. This did not help me thinking of Snape.

Thankfully two weeks later with a nice tan all over we boarded a plane at Charles de Gaulle Airport and headed to America.

/Scene Break/

"Two vials on no problems until they talk to the school in America." An entity wagered.

"A vial that Black is in trouble before they get to register." There were no takers.

"I bet a vile that within three-month the bearded one is there to get Potter."

"I'll make that three weeks and two vials."

/Scene Break/

What I didn't know was that while our attempt to hide worked it only worked for a short time. The Ministry in England had a reward now posted for information as to where Harry Potter was while the Dailey Profit was reporting that Sirius Black had me kidnapped. Magical people roamed everywhere and sooner or later a report would come in, hopefully it was later so the trail was cold if it was followed.

We stopped at the Salem academy but found problems.

"You all must provide us transcripts of your education." Headmistress Johnson stated.

"Since we have none could you request them from Hogwarts in England." Sirius was acting as our guardians.

"Oh not problems, they should be in about a week. Check back in then and we will set you up with the proper classes and dormitories."

A week later while approaching the school we were met by Aura Tonks, Hesta Jones and Emmeline Vance. Well they tried to meet us but we saw them first and headed west.

Where else would no one care about stinking grades or classes, California. The West Coast Academy of Magical Arts was an accredited magical school just north of Sacramento. You attended classes if you felt like it and lived where you felt was the best place to do your thing. My group of wacko's fit right in with the normal population.

/Scene Break/

"Five vials of potion that Potter ends up in England in three weeks." Betting never stopped.

"Two vials that Hogwarts fall to an attack by Moldeshorts." Another offered.

/Scene Break/

We had just been up to the lake and while Sirius drove the boat Luna and I learned how to water ski. We had become quite good at it as Sirius had a tendency to try and kill us while we skied.

"You two are no fun anymore. I can't dump you into the water your getting too good at this."

"Just remember the next time you magic the boat over a sand bar that we know magic also." I reminded Sirius.

"Yea I hope no muggles saw that but it was super cool."

"Lets head home and change I want to head up to the steak house." Luna drooled as she had become attached to the menu at one particular place. England did not have anything like it, from the steaks to the salsa and chips.

While we were changing in our rented house Tiki popped in with the English papers. They almost slowed Luna down from her intended attack on the steak house.

"MURDER MOST FOUL", was the headline of the Dailey Profit.

Draco had apparently sneaked up upon Albus and delivered an 'Avada Kedavra' to Dumbledore's back. They had caught him with Dumbledore's wand as Draco tried to make his escape from Hogwarts. The trial was quick and Draco was in Azkaban for life.

"Well that is some bright news for the evening." I was not a fan of Dumbledore but his death was not welcomed.

"Oh POO!" exclaimed Luna.

A bright light appeared in the room and like a patronus it stated its message.

"Return to England"… Lachesis stated.

"So what are we going to do besides return to England? I asked the room with not much hope of any real answers.

"We are going to the steak house and after we eat we will decide the minor points of returning to England." Luna was determined to have that rare steak and fries.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13– So it ends, well sort of

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We took a muggle flights all the way back to England.

Our first stop was Gringotts. "Ragnok have you forgotten us already?"

"No Harry and welcome back. We are extremely happy you came back, Voldemort's cronies have be here trying to get the Goblin nations on their side."

"I hope you said no?"

"Are you kidding Harry, the King himself dinned on Voldemort's Emissaries. Only a fool would disregard your connections. They have said that we will win haven't they?"

I looked at Luna who was our contact source of information as slim as that was.

"The Fates never tell me but the Nargals say we are on the right road."

Grabbing a couple of sacks of Galleons we headed back to our basement. It was nice to be home.

/Scene Break/

"Come with me my faithful we are going to Azkaban and retrieve our loyal followers." hissed Voldemort. "Kill all the guards but Draco is to be brought to me ALIVE is that clear?"

It was not safe to even think why the Dark Lord wanted Draco alive. Either Draco was very important at this moment or he was in for a world of hurt.

"We kill today!" Voldemort yelled as he led his troops out of their hidden fortress, a loud cheer erupted.

/Scene Break/

One of these days someone is going to tell me what is going on and what will happen in my life. Not if I live or die but the simple things in life that happen and why and how to deal with them. Luna has kicked Sirius out of the basement for the foreseeable future.

Luna pushed me into the couch and sat in my lap. This was normal and enjoyed. , I was going to kiss my wife; it seemed like about time we had some alone time. Her small hands woven throughout my hair as she kissed me tenderly.

"I love you, Harry."

I kissed her again before attacked her neck, my hands creeping under the back of her shirt this looked to be another great snogging episode."

Then everything turned different. She leaps up and drags me to the bed and starts ripping off my clothes while kissing me into a different universe. She had no problems with me assisting her in removing her clothes. I must thank Sirius for those porno video's he watched so I understood what was expected of me. Luna expected a lot that evening and in the night and in the morning. I had a smile on my face the next morning that lit the room. Luna was also assisting in illuminating the room so I think I did good or at least passed.

/Scene Break/

I definitely will kill that asshole Riddle for ruining the next morning. Tiki brought the papers showing that Azkaban had been emptied. Headwig and Drac had emptied my plate before I had finished reading. Of course Luna sitting in my lap giving me a few extra kisses did redirect my thoughts.

"So what do we do now?" Sirius asked. Luna had let him back in for breakfast.

"Me and Luna are going to head over to Hogwarts to see if we can enroll and what's going on, you get to do your thing which is to check the wards.

I 'slid' us to the Great Hall and scared just about everyone by our sudden appearance."

Then a voice echoed across the Great Hall, "What the Hell are you doing back here?"

"Why thank you Mr. Weasley for you support on our return. Headmistress might we have a word?" The hall was buzzing like crazy with rumors and speculations.

In the headmistress' office Professor McGonagall asked, "So Mr. Potter what can Hogwarts do for you?"

"Well first we would like to re-enroll in Hogwarts as Lord and Lady Potter with appropriate quarters."

"Lord Potter Hogwarts is happy to see your return and your quarters will be ready shortly." After calling an elf to arrange the quarters she continued the discussion.

"Albus was always a bit controlling and secretive but it was my impression that you had a role in finishing the Dark Lord."

"I would hope as a member of the Order that you would have gotten that impression." I gave her a huge grin.

"Yes well is there anything else that Hogwarts can do for you at this time?"

"No Hogwarts has been most kind. That is why I have returned to defend Hogwarts from her enemies. I believe we will be having enough problems to keep both of us busy in the foreseeable future."

An elf escorted us to our quarters. Tiki provided a meal and unpacked our trunks. Tiki had also done our shopping for everything we needed at Hogwarts even the cooler was full of snacks.

Breakfast the next morning gave us our schedules via Professor Flitwick and of course the morning was full of Snape and Potions. Sometimes things never change, Snape fit into that category.

/Scene Break/

"Draco you have exceeded my expectations. You got Dumbledore and his wand is now yours."

"Master the Ministry has the wand."

"A small problem, open your mind and let me view your success in doing in my enemy, 'Legilimens'."

Draco was lucky as the Dark Lord flew into a fit of rage beyond any of his followers had seen in a very long tme. Draco was only flung against a far wall others received a far worse fate. Draco's memory of killing Dumbledore was clear as Draco's took Dumbledore's wand but the problem was two-fold. First it was not the Deathstick Draco got and a memory of Draco's enemy Harry Potter showed Potter with the wand of destiny.

/Scene Break/

Luna and I got into the Potion lab and seats with no problems. The class started and we almost had hopes that Snape had become partly human. We were of course dreaming.

"Potter and his whore returns to Hogwarts, we need to fall down on our knees and kiss his…"

He got no further as I had him immobilized and floating in front of me. "We are displeased with your immature rhetoric. Let it be known that anyone who interferes with us in our terminating Voldemort is going to suffer his same fate. Now you have displeased us and delayed us in our mission of eliminating the upstart. Let this be a warning teach your class and leave me and mine alone, capisce?" I released him and sat down. The class was surprisingly quiet and without further sniping. I did keep an eye on him and his wand for the remainder of the class.

"Lord Potter might I see you in my office after lunch?"

"Yes Headmistress it will be our pleasure." That got the attention of the Hall as I never answered that way normally.

Later in the Headmistress office, "Lord Potter, Lady Potter please take a seat."

"Headmistress please it just Harry if you please."

"Thank you Harry, unfortunately there is some bad news that I believe you should know before the papers are delivered. The Ministry was attacked and has fallen to the Dark Lord. The Minister is dead and the Aurors are trying to regroup. I also believe that Hogwarts will soon be under attack although the rationales are quite unclear.

"Oh that is because Harry is here but the Nargals say not to worry the forces of evil will not harm the school." Luna was giving her all and McGonagall was ignoring it as fantasy. I love Luna in more ways than I can say.

"That as it may be I do have a letter from Albus for you." She handed over a thick envelope from Dumbledore which I put in my robes for reading later.

/Scene Break/

"So what did the Headmaster have to say?" Luna queried.

"Here you read this. If it's true I should just jump off the Astronomy tower and end it all. Its all about something called a Horcux and me being one also, so I have to die in the end to let him finish Voldemort."

"Who has to do in Volldemort in the end?"

"Acording to Dumbledore, Dumbledore."

"I don't think that's going to work Harry."

"Yes dear, he was a bit off his rocker when it came to me."

/Scene Break/

"Master!" the minion fell to his knees and kissed the hem of Voldemort's robe."

"What do you bring me Rockwood?"

"I found in the ministry the registration of several legal and high level protection wards."

"Why would that interest me?"

"Its on #4 Privet drive, Harry Potters residency."

"Splendid, organize our forces we attack Privet Drive on Christmas day. Potter should be there then."

The registration of those wards made them legal and the Ministry knew where they were. The Ministry also knew what type were in effect should the Ministry need to bring them down. Voldemort was happy.

/Scene Break/

"Sirius are you are sure you will be safe going to the Tonk's for Christmas day?"

"They all know I am innocent and it is a family affair, I will be here for you guys early the next morning."

"Well have a great time and don't let the Nargals bite you." I said and got a punch to the shoulder from Luna.

"That's my line mister." We both laughed. We also were going to enjoy a little close time every chance we had in the next few days. Alone was a fantastic time.

It was Christmas day in the basement, a sexual encounter of the best kind had just ended and the shower that required an assistant had just concluded. The traditional decorations and tree were there thanks to Tiki. Hedwick was snoozing on her customized owl stand and Drac was enjoying the roaring fire as we joined everyone for Christmas breakfast.

Elsewhere: "Today, Potter dies!"

A loud cheer erupted and the Deatheaters left with their Lord.

Elsewhere: Alright you lot everyone has there bets down so lets see what's cooking at #4 Privet Drive." Clotho wanted to see her daughter and Christmas was a good time to visit. Her two best friends Lachesis and Atropos were invited to surprise Luna on this special day. They forgot to check the time line and its eddies besides it would not be fair to place a bet when you already knew the outcome.

Meanwhile the betting club was heavily betting as there appeared to be a meeting of a lot of karma's in the betting room. Beelzebub had even showed up and laid a bet on the number of magical to show at Privet Drive. No one ever took bets on the number of deaths when it came to Beelzebub.

Privet Drive: The alarm was screaming magical in the area.

Tiki was mad as her meal she just served was now interrupted. Hedwig was upset as the fun of stealing bacon was in the stealing and no one was paying attention to the bacon. Drac was upset as he had to get up and defend as he knew this was serious. Harry and Luna where not happy with their quick meal being interrupted and the back to the bedroom trip being delayed. Everyone wondered who the hell dared visit on Christmas day.

Had the fates checked it could be said that the fates had directed the arrival of all the groups. The Fates had not checked their time line and seen what was schedualed to happen decades ago.

Voldemort and his Deatheaters arrived and identified the wards and proceeded to bring them down as the ministry would do which was violently. If the count could be done there were over fifty Deatheater assisting in the crashing of the wards.

During the take down of the wards Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos arrived and seeing the fun erected squishy chairs in the sky to watch the fun unfold. They also called a few of their minor gods to insure the gods safety and invisibility.

When the betting enties saw the Fates watching they decided to get a closer look. The gambling increased as they also stayed off to the side and continued their betting at a more insane rate, there were vials to be made.

Beelsebub became invisible and entered the area as there was work that must be done sending the dead to their proper place. There was no doubt that something was about to increase his realms population.

The area of Little Whinging in the county of Surrey was about to be awoken. If anyone cared about the restriction on letting the muggles know about magic they were not there besides the Ministry was Voldemorts.

About the time that Clotho pulled out the orb to monitor the time line remotely just as the fun began.

The attack called #4 to unleashed a number of 'Confundo' charms, maniacal laughter and the twins had increased their insanity to beyond insanity. What exploded out of the house was lethal as the house itself exploded. Death and destruction happened but not just at #4 Privet drive. Screaming muggles were streaming down the streets as their houses caught fire. Not many escaped as curses hit them, most notably Voldemorts 'Avada Kedavra'. It was like shooting ducks in a bathtub. The phones were calling for help but the first wave of muggles were killed by the Deatheaters.

With all the powerful entities watching one could ask why they did not just wave a hand and stop all this death and destruction. Simply put the time and events were woven into the time line and were going to happen. All the entities could do was bet or pick up the pieces in the end if the time line called for it.

From the basement came a blast eliminating what remained of the house. Lightning came flying out in the form of Drac and frozen arrows flew from Hedwig. This began the elimination of anything close to that basement. As the dust cleared a young man and girl stood and started a rein of destruction that stretched for a good ways from their once standing house. Then there was a pause in the fighting as Voldemort's 'Avada Kedavra' hit the young man. When he fell to his knees the Deatheaters cheered but when he stood back up and resumed his curses the smarter Deatheater left. The battle continued.

Voldemort tried to 'apperate' then he tried to use his portkey and found he was trapped, someone had put up new wards. Fear was coming to introduce herself to Voldemort. The battle was now between him and the accursed Harry Potter. That was the last thing that he knew as his world disintegrated along with his body.

I was about ready to relax when a cutting curse came from the hedgerow. I returned the favor and got a scream for my efforts. It didn't do much for the hedgerow.

I grabbed Luna and slid to the only safe place I knew, Gringotts.

Ragnok was happy as our tale unfolded. He was ready to rebuild the house and put the wards back in place, for a price of course. He however suddenly got a lot of work coming in by messengers. It seemed that a lot of the deaths were attributed to me and I could claim by conquest their estates. The bad part was their wives and daughters came with that claim. I refused each except one. It seemed that the hedgerow assault gave me a nice present.

/Scene Break/

I now was relaxing with Luna on my side. Drac was chasing Hedwig around the garden. The garden was one of the plush manor gardens of the rich it even had peacocks wandering around. My hobby garden was further down the road. We now owned a very large estate as I had conquered the last of a line, the Malfoy line. The whole place was taken care of by a bunch of elves. One elf was just to much after he found out who I was and was his new master. Dobby was quite a trip, like a LSD acid trip.

"Harry do you think Dumbledore was right about Voldemort having seven Horicux?"

"Who cares? If someone can find them and survive the curses surounding them then we will have to terminate the idiot. Hogwarts turns out average magicals so adding a sliver of Voldemort's soul will not make a dangerous Voldemort. Meanwhile lets just enjoy until we must fight again. Remenber it was what fourteen years for him to come back the first time? I think we have the edge."

Luna laughed and gave me a kiss that started something else.

/Scene Break/

We kind of disappeared off the face of the planet. Oh there were sightings of the famous Harry Potter but time makes things fade.

I think it was around when I turned twenty-five that I got a vial that Luna made me drink. It wasn't as bad tasting as some I had gotten at Hogwarts.

In about forty years later the legend of Harry Potter had grown but I no longer fit the description of the legend. Seems that vial did something to aging.

By now the empty lot at #4 Pivet drive was forgotten and the muggle repelling wards and 'Fidelius' charm made my basement comfy when we were in the London area. Luna was not into much except me, a nice home and her animals. The old Malfoy manor was where I did my hobby and the making of new hybrid plants.

About a hundred and fifty years later everything had changed. Little Whinning had been completely rebuilt as a new housing development with the empty lot at #4. No sign of Voldemort slivers so we forgot him.

It took me a long time to realize that Lachesis never notified Atropos to do a clip on my yarn. Luna was part of the live forever gang so we are going to hang around for a while, a long while. Luna and I just had our 300th birthday but are still looking like twenty-five young happy adults.

fin


End file.
